#i just like.. stop automatically breathing once i think about it and it takes me *so* *fucking* *long* to start again

[barkingangelbaby]

dude...

[forehead451]

stream of consciousness type deal.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Yuutsum 1

SUMMARY: What if you also have a Tsum? Then your Tsum and the Tsum of the person you like keep giving signs that they like each other?

CHARACTERS: Twisted Tsumderland 1 Tsumsitters (Riddle; Cater; Leona; Jack; Floyd; Epel; Sebek)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader 

WARNING: Spoilers for the Twisted Tsumderland Event and the Tsumsitter cards Vignettes.

WORD COUNT: An average of 600 words per character.

COMMENTS: This was originally a request from @taruruchi for my 1k celebration. Which you can read here. And since so many readers liked it, I decided to do what I normally do when this happens: Do this for ALL the characters! Grouped by event in this case.

The beginning of the Riddle's part is the same as in the request, but I added a little bit more scenario after that.

I hope you enjoy 😉

Yuutsum 2 (Deuce; Azul; Jade; Kalim; Rook; Ortho; Lilia)

Yuutsum 3 (after going to the English server)

.

With your Tsum in your arms, you find Ace and Deuce, leaning over with their hands on their knees as if they were catching their breath after a run. They look at you first, but quickly the cute little creature you hold in your arms catches their attention. They both have that look on their faces like they think it's the cutest and most beautiful little thing in the world but don't want to admit it.

They say that Riddle also has one of those and it was the one they were chasing and trying to catch, but they lost it. The moment they said Riddle’s name, you felt your Tsum move enthusiastically for a moment.

They hear something, when they look they see Riddle-tsum in the distance and run towards it, starting the chase again. Your Tsum jumps out of your arms and runs with them, which makes you run after them too.

Your Tsum passes Ace and Deuce, which surprises them because they were so fast, and throws itself at Riddle-tsum, rolling together for a few seconds until they both stop. When this happened, Riddle-tsum didn't run away again, and the two were rubbing each other's cheeks happily.

Ace grabbed Riddle-tsum while it was distracted. It seemed upset about being caught. But the moment Deuce grabbed your Tsum that upsetness turn into anger. Riddle-tsum jumped out of Ace's arms, hits him in the face and threw itself right in Deuce's face to make him release your Tsum. Once back on the ground, Riddle-tsum positioned itself between your Tsum and those two. Glaring threateningly at Ace and Deuce.

Once again, it doesn't run away. You finally get close to them and approach the tsums. When Riddle-tsum sees you it relaxes again and looks at you with admiration. As if looking at a royalty.

Ace and Deuce suggest that you try taking them both to Heartslabyul, as Riddle-tsum doesn't seem to like either of them. They were small enough for you to be able to carry them both in your arms without any problems.

You take them both in your arms and Riddle-tsum immediately turns red. It looked like a tomato in white clothes. And it writhed as if it wanted to hide your arms in embarrassment. When you arrive at Heartslabyul, Riddle-tsum's blush had already subsided.

“Ah, prefect.” Riddle says when he sees you, Ace and Deuce arriving. “I see you were the one who managed to catch...” He looks at your arms to see his tsum, but his gaze automatically goes to your tsum instead. “Oh, there is one similar to you too. It looks... as charming as you.” he blushes just a little.

After explaining how you three caught Riddle-tsum, Ace suggests that they leave you and your Tsum with Riddle-tsum to prevent it from escaping again or causing trouble. Or hurt someone else. Riddle hesitates at first, as he is the one responsible for taking care of his tsum. But soon after, Riddle-tsum hits a student for breaking some rule and Riddle starts arguing with it so he stops attacking others.

You place a hand on Riddle's shoulder to try to calm him down a little and at that moment both of your attention went to your tsums. Your Tsum was between you and Riddle-tsum.

“You know, they remind me of the hedgehogs in a way.” Riddle says “And now they are reminding me of when they come closer to smell each other or to rub each other's noses. I can't deny that I find it quite cute whenever they do it.”

And then your Tsum starts rubbing its little round nose against Riddle-tsum's and caressing him to calm him down. And it works. And he returns the affection by staying very close to your Tsum.

Riddle blushes a little again, and says that, reconsidering Ace's suggestion and if you want, you could take care of your tsums together.

You were walking with your Tsum in your arms when you saw Cater and his Tsum on Main Street. Cater-tsum seemed to be curled defensively around something Cater was trying to retrieve.

“Look, you can't have it, okay?!” You hear Carter say to his Tsum as you get close to them.

You greet him by asking what they are doing. Cater gives you a quick glance before turning his attention back to Cater-tsum, as if he's afraid that if he looks away it'll escape.

“Hey, [Y/N]! I'm trying to get my-” He quickly looks back at you, more specifically at the adorable little thing you have in your arms. “Oh!... My!... Great Seven!” He turns his body towards you, his gaze so fixed on your Tsum that he doesn't even blink. “YOU HAVE A TSUM TOO! And it's the most adorable little thing I've ever seen in my life!”

Suddenly you both got jumpscared as something jumps towards you. It was Cater-tsum jumping into your arms! Despite the scare, you manage to catch it and it starts to nestle into your arms and cuddle your Tsum. Cater looks at the floor where Tsum was and sees his cell phone left behind. He retrieves it.

“We HAVE to take a pic of them!” Cater says excitedly “No! We have to do a whole photoshoot! Here! It's a great place to start.”

If you like taking pictures, your Tsum will be very excited. If you are shy, your Tsum will turn around to hide its face in your arms.

“Awwwww~ That’s even more adorable! Pwease! I beg you~" He says to your Tsum. Cater-tsum will also make pleading eyes at your Tsum.

The four of you spend a lot of time taking pictures in different places. Both pictures of the Tsums and of you with Cater. Until Cater and his Tsum have enough pictures to finally let you and your Tsum rest.

You sit on a bench, you with your Tsum on your lap and Cater with his Tsum on his lap, both of them editing photos on his cell phone. However, you feel your Tsum move and leave your lap to headbutt Cater's hand that was holding the cell phone, making it fall against his belly. After that, your tsum just stands there looking at Cater-tsum with a slightly annoyed look. Cater-tsum smiles with its tiny eyes and jumps against your tsum so they can cuddle each other.

Cater looks at the Tsums protecting the cell phone against his chest, watches them for a moment and then looks at you.

“Hey, if you want to do the same, just need to ask, you know~?” Cater says and winks at you.

If you accept, he'll put an arm around your shoulders and edit the photos with you, while your two Tsums cuddle on your laps.

Your Tsum was restless, impatient. It really wanted to go somewhere. So you pick it up and walk around campus trying to understand where it wants to go. Fortunately you don't need to walk far, as the botanical garden is one of the closest points to Ramshackle Dorm.

As soon as you enter, your tsum jumps out of your arms and starts jumping (its way of running) somewhere in the middle of some bushes. And you know that spot well. As soon as you stop seeing it, you hear a patient growl.

“Another one?” You hear Leona's voice. “Hey! What do you think you're doing?!” You follow the voice, pass through the bushes and see Leona lying down with two tsums on top of his torso. Your Tsum and Leona-tsum, cuddled up like two cats sleeping with each other.

“Herbivore, get your stuffie thing out of here and take the one that looks like me with you too. I'm not a nest to have two pesky armadillos sleeping on top of me!”

You kneel down next to him, looking at Leona-tsum with that “HE’S SO CUTE!” twinkle in your eyes. Leona-tsum looks at you and its sleepy eyes suddenly open, almost bulging. And it jumps onto your chest, knowing you would catch it.

“You got one.” Leona said. “Just one more to-” He interrupted himself, looking at his chest and seeing your tsum rising until it approached his face.

If you look at his face, you will see Leona's pupils dilating. And your tsum snuggling against his chest. You comment that you don't think your tsum will want to leave his side.

“Why don't you walk away with that one and see what happens? Maybe yours will follow.”

You are also curious to know what would happen. Leona-tsum was already sleeping in your arms.

You walk away with him, towards the exit of the botanical garden. Halfway there it wakes up and you feel it move in your arms. You stop and look at it. It seemed to have an annoyed look on his face, very similar to what Leona does when things aren't going according to his plans. You open your mouth to say or ask something, but it's Leona's voice that can be heard throughout the botanical garden.

“OI!” You hear Leona growl in annoyance. “Who do you think you are demanding anythin’ from me?!” And then you hear him roar.

You come back with Leona-tsum in your arms, and you find your tsum pulling one of Leona's braids towards you as if he wanted to force him to come to you.

“This thing really takes after you.” he comments, in a tone reminiscent of a father irritated with a child he deep down loves.

Leona tsum jumps out of your arms and lazily approaches your tsum. Your tsum lets go of Leona's braid.

You both see Leona-tsum rubbing his cheek on your Tsum's cheek, and making a movement as if it was licking your Tsum's face. After calming your tsum down, the two of them curl up to sleep together.

“Well, at least they're not bothering me anymore.” Leona says. He closes his eyes, but right after, he opens one of them again to look at you. “If you're also going to stay here with your stuffie thing, at least be useful. This floor isn't the best pillow, you know?” He makes that gesture for you to come closer with his index finger.

And if you let him use your lap to to lie down, he will fall asleep in 3 seconds, just like his Tsum did.

You were in the Ramshackle Dorm Lounge with your Tsum and Grim was in your bedroom, probably taking a nap after eating too much, when you hear someone knocking at the door. You go open the door, leaving your Tsum on the couch. You open the door and see Jack.

“Hi [Y/N]. Sorry to bother you, but this Tsum-” Before Jack could finish his sentence, you saw something near your feet come barreling through the door. You look back in time to see Jack-tsum turn to enter the Lounge. “Ah! Sorry. It won't sit still. Let's catch it before it does any damage.”

The two of you go to the lounge and stop right at the entrance. Jack-tsum was on the couch with your Tsum. Jack-tsum was jumping around your Tsum, its little tail wagging like crazy, and its eyes shining while also rubbing its face against your Tsum’s as if licking it. It was just like a puppy wanting to play.

“OI!” Jack shouted “Don't mess up [Y/N]'s couch!”

Jack-tsum sulked and your Tsum jumped from the couch to the floor. Jack-tsum followed it. Your Tsum approached Jack and smiled at him with its eyes, as if it were greeting him.

“Hum?” Jack’s ears pricked up as he looked down. “You also have a Tsum similar to you.” He didn't realize his tail had started wagging.

Jack-tsum followed your Tsum and you felt the need to bend down to see Jack-tsum up close. It looked at you with big bright eyes and its tail wagging wildly. You comment on how cute it is and reach out to pet it.

“Be careful.” Jack warns you “It doesn't let anyone...” You start to pet its head as it leans in your hand. “... touch it... What's the deal with this thing? Whenever anyone approached it would either move away or growl at them. How did you do that? I can't even catch it to take it to Savanaclaw.”

You say you don't know what you did either, if anything special. And you comment that it seems to like you. This makes Jack blush slightly.

“How would it not?” he says softly, and without meaning to. He clears his throat. “Um, do you mind if we stay here for a while? It seems to have finally settle down a bit.”

Your tsum goes to Jack-tsum's side and they both look at you as if begging you to say yes. You agree and the two Tsums bounce happily for a moment before they start running around the lounge together.

“OI! You two be careful!” Jack warns “Don't break or mess anything up, you hear?!”

You laugh and comment on how much you think Jack and his Tsum look alike.

“It's just the hair and the outfit.” he says a little embarrassed “Do I look round and soft?!”

“Round maybe not but soft...” You laugh and he blushes.

Before he could open his mouth to try to respond to that, the tsums started running towards you and ended up bump into you as they passed, which made you lose your balance. Jack catches you.

“What did I say?” he shouts to the tsums. He looks at you. "Are you okay?" In his arms, and he releases you, blushing a little. “Sorry about that.” he rubs the back of his neck. “It had never done this.”

“Maybe it was a bad influence.” you say and look at the Tsums. From the looks on their faces, especially your Tsum’s, it wasn't an accident.

You were walking down the Main Street with your Tsum in your arms when you hear footsteps running behind you, approaching quickly. You turn around in shock and see a very tall figure right in front of you. Then you realize it's Floyd.

“Boo~” Floyd smiles at you with something writhing violently in his arms. You look and see his Tsum trying to get free. You also notice, by the way he is holding Floyd-tsum, that he is using a lot of force. “Hi Koebi-chan~. Whatcha doin'~?” He sees something in your arms and looks to find your Tsum. “Woo! You have one too! And it looks so small and weak like you, how cute! He he.”

(What you don't know is that what really happened was that Floyd-tsum was loose and took off running when it saw you. The footsteps you heard were Floyd running to catch it before Floyd-tsum caught you.)

Your Tsum made a sulky face, while Floyd-tsum continued to struggle in Floyd's arms. You say Floyd-tsum is also very cute, it stops and looks at you with smiling little eyes.

“Do you wanna play with it?” Floyd asks and you say yes. “Sure, but careful how you handle it. It’s easy to set this guy-” The moment he let his arms go slack for a second, Floyd-tsum jumped into your arms.

With difficulty, but you managed to catch it without letting your tsum fall. Now you had them both in your arms. You saw it squeezing your tsum while it snuggled into your arms. However, your tsum didn't seem uncomfortable, quite the opposite, it felt like a passionate everyday hug.

Between letting Floyd-tsum jump out of his arms, until realizing that it wouldn't hurt you, Floyd stared at his Tsum with that serious face that all students who know him the least bit fear.

“Aw~ Aren't they cute together?” he says with his usual relaxed expression. He sees that you are having difficulty holding both tsums. “Let them go. They can walk on their own. Or hop, I guess.”

You do so. The two Tsums land on the ground and Floyd-tsum jumps up to continue hugging your Tsum. But before it can, Floyd quickly picks up your Tsum in his arms and starts squeezing it too.

“MY TURN!” Floyd says to his Tsum.

This one sulks, looks at you and jumps back towards you. You catch it and it hugs your forearm. You and Floyd laugh, until the pressure in your arm starts to increase to the point where it starts to hurt. The moment you grimace, Floyd's expression changes, he lets go of your tsum and rips his off your arm.

“I warned you.” he says to his tsum, with the same face he uses to threaten students who don't pay Azul. “Someone is not keeping their side of the deal.”

Floyd-tsum manages to escape and hugs your tsum again, but without hurting it. Floyd looks at you, who looks slightly sad, and sees you rubbing the forearm that Tsum was squeezing. He holds your wrist to see better. There is a slight reddish mark. He lets go of your wrist, turns to the Tsums and lifts his foot as if to step on his tsum. Before you could stop him, your tsum does it, getting out of Floyd-tsum's embrace and positioning itself between it and Floyd's sole when he was about to hit his Tsum. He looks at your tsum's fearless face for a moment and laughs heartily.

“HA HA HA HA! It also takes after you, Koebi-chan~” He puts his foot back on the ground and turns back to you. “We were going to Mostro Lounge. Do you want to come?”

With your Tsum in your arms, you were walking down Main Street when you heard a scream. It sounded like someone was being attacked by a dog or something. You follow the sound and see Epel, another Pomefiore student, and an Epel-tsum attacking this student while Epel tries to stop it.

Your tsum jumps out of your arms and runs (or hops) towards them until it stops between Epel-tsum and the student, preventing the tsum from attacking him again. And then, your tsum headbutted Epel-tsum so hard that it even knocked it upside down for a moment. Enough time for Epel to catch it. The other student runs away and Epel-tsum begins to struggle in Epel's arms.

“Stop it!” Epel complained “Ya can't go aroun´ attackin´ students!”

You approach them asking if everything is okay and if he need help. Epel-tsum stops and looks at you. You smile when you see that Epel also has a tsum and comment on how cute it is (like any tsum).

“No! Don't call it that!” The Tsum manages to jump out of Epel's arms and towards you.

He panics, but instead of the Tsum hitting you, it lands in your arms and just looks at you with a sulky face. You say it's still being cute, and once again, instead of it attacking you, its little face turns red with blush.

Epel freezes, completely confused for a moment until he thinks about what could be the possible reason for you being the only person who called the Tsum cute and it didn't attack. And when he thinks of the most likely reason, he also blushes.

Your tsum also jumped into Epel's arms, surprising him. It smiles at him with its cute little eyes and his blush deepens. Your voice is the only thing that makes Epel look away from your Tsum, asking if you could accompany him and his Tsum if they were going to Pomefiore.

In his dorm, needless to say, Rook wasted no time praising the Tsums, both Epel's and yours. But since Epel's Tsum didn't seem to appreciate the comments very much, especially if they focused on the fact that he was cute, Rook ended up turning his attention to your Tsum, which ended up bothering Epel's Tsum even more.

“It looks like someone is jaloux.” Rook says smiling amused.

That was the only thing that made Epel-tsum throw itself at him, to attack. Rook dodged it like a bullfighter with the grace of someone who was expecting it. Epel panicked and quickly picked up his tsum and apologized to Rook.

“There is no reason to apologize, Monsieur Pommette.” Rook says, loving the situation more than he should. “Truly. I must confess that my provocation was premeditated. C'est tellement beau to see your true feelings and emotions through your Tsum's lack of filter.”

“WHA-?! WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!”

Rook just laughs, winks at Epel and starts walking towards the door. Halfway there he passes you, leans over and whispers in your ear: “Could you tame the little beast for us, Trickster?” and leaves.

Epel's Tsum struggled in his arms, angry... with jealousy.

Your Tsum was restless, impatient. It really wanted to go somewhere. So you pick it up and walk around campus trying to understand where it wants to go. You leave Ramshackle Dorm, pass the Botanical Garden and the Alchemy Workshop and arrive at the Hall of Mirrors.

As soon as you enter, your Tsum escapes from your arms and quickly jumps until it enters the mirror of Diasmonia. You follow it, but you realize that you lost sight of it the moment it passed through the mirror.

“Good afternoon, [Y/N]!” Lilia is the first to come and greet you. “To what do we owe such a wonderful surprise visit?”

You tell him about your tsum.

“Ah yes! Sebek also has a cute little lookalike. I can't wait to see yours. Although if it's as adorable or even more adorable than you, we're going to have a cuteness overdose problem in this dorm. Khe he. Well, from what I understand, and despite Sebek denying it, the personality of these tsums is very similar to the personality of those they physically resemble. So if your tsum wanted to come here, where do you think it would have gone? Where would you want to go?”

You don't think about a ‘where’ but rather a ‘who’ and that may have shown on your face, beacuse Lilia laughs amusedly.

“So maybe your tsum went to meet someone? Maybe a fellow tsum? Khe he he. I suggest we look for Malleus. Wherever he is, Sebek and Silver will be there too.”

The two of you head to the lounge, but before you get there you can already hear all the commotion. Aka: Sebek’s thunderous voice.

“Don't look at me like that! No matter who your looks resemble, you're bothering Malleus-sama and meddling in our, I mean my guard duties!”

“Actually,” You hear Malleus's patient voice say. “I am quite enjoying this little one's presence. It's as pleasant as [Y/N]'s own presence. Wouldn't you agree, Sebek?”

“HUM?! Yes! Of course sir! Please forgive me for implying that this Tsum's presence was inconvenient.”

You and Lilia arrive at the lounge and approach those two. Sebek, as expected, was standing very straight next to Malleus, who was sitting in one of the sofas. Coming closer, you see that both your Tsum and Sebek's Tsum are in Malleus' lap. And Sebek-tsum looked like it was... about to cry?

“AWW~ Look at you.” Lilia said, your Tsum turned to him. “You are even cuter than I imagined. *sigh* What an unfair competition. Ke he.”

The moment Sebek-tsum sees you is when it finally starts crying.

“HUM?! What is wrong with you?” Sebek inquires. “You are such a strange creature.”

“I think it's an too much emotion to see so many people it likes together.” Lilia says with a smirk.

“W-Well, regardless, it should learn to control itself!”

You come closer, worried about Sebek-tsum, and ask if it would like a hug to feel better. It looks at you, then at Malleus, back at you, Malleus, you, Malleus, and on until it almost gets dizzy and the indecision seems to make it more sad.

“I think I have an idea.” Malleus says. “[Y/N], would you like to sit next to me?”

You sit down, he asks you to come closer until your thighs touch, so he can place Sebek-tsum on both of your laps at the same time. It, still in tears, seemed to be thanking Malleus with his eyes and head.

“How intelligent and generous, my liege!” Even Sebek himself had a tear in the corner of his eye.

He was about to continue his praise when your Tsum jumped from Malleus' lap into Sebek's hands. He caught it as if he was saving it from a fall. It looked at him and smiled with its eyes.

“How precious.” He said with a tender smile, as he was still emotional about Malleus's act. Then he realized what he had just said and blushed in embarrassment. But he didn't stop holding your Tsum.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[navybrat817]

Pencil You In

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky thinks you've been working too hard and need a break. Word Count: Over 1.3k Warnings: Fluff, crying, reader is tired, slight insecurities, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: Partially inspired by an image the beautiful @bucksangel sent me and life stretching me a bit thin, here's a little ficlet. Lovelies, take breaks. You deserve them and you are more than enough! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You slumped in your chair of your home office as you reread the sentence on the screen for what felt like the hundredth time. Weariness had already settled deep in your bones long before you looked over the document, the words blurring together the longer you stared. Blinking a few times didn’t help as you reached for your mug, only to remember that you had finished your extra helping of caffeine an hour ago. Begrudgingly, you set it down and huffed as if it was somehow the fault of the cup that it didn’t automatically fill itself.

“Almost done,” you whispered to yourself, straightening up so you could do one last readthrough.

It was a long week in what felt like a series of long weeks. Almost every minute of your schedule was accounted for lately and all you wanted to do was relax. People were depending on you though and you could relax over the weekend.

Hopefully.

“You should take a break.”

You didn’t turn around immediately at the sound of Bucky’s gentle voice, but you did manage a smile when you glanced over your shoulder a moment later. He didn’t return the smile, concern swirling in his blue irises. You were afraid to stare into the pool of his eyes for too long out of fear of drowning.

And, god, you were drowning. It would be so easy to reach out and take the lifeline that was his hand. To just admit that you need some time to rest because you were tired. Hadn’t you earned it? Didn’t you deserve a break after the hard work you put in?

But maybe you didn’t deserve it. What you did wasn’t as important as someone like Bucky. You firmly shut the door on that thought before the words could make their way out of your mouth. If he could’ve read your mind and known you thought that, it would’ve disappointed him. Not in you, but whoever made you decide that what you did wasn’t enough.

Because you were always expected to do and be more.

“I will in a few minutes,” you said.

He let out a heavy sigh as he crossed his arms, making you tear your gaze away. You didn’t comment on his disheveled hair, like he kept running a hand through it. Likely because he worried about you stretching yourself too thin. “That was what you said a few minutes ago,” he reminded you, his voice light instead of accusatory.

You shut your eyes in the hopes that the tears wouldn’t come and took a breath. “I really will this time,” you promised, giving the document one last readthrough once you got your emotions under control.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said.

If you wouldn’t take a break for your own sake, you had to do it for Bucky.

“Okay. I think that’s at a good stopping point,” you said, making you saved it before you closed it out. If you lost all of that after everything you put into it so far, you would’ve lost it. Before you could move to the next task on your list though, an alert popped up on your screen. Your heart dropped to your stomach because you didn’t remember scheduling anything else today. You didn’t have the mental or emotional capacity for more. “What is this?” You mumbled before you opened it.

Reading the subject line, you did a double take.

CUDDLE WITH BUCKY

You covered your mouth to smother your giggles. “I don’t remember scheduling this meeting.”

“It’s a good thing I remembered, baby,” he said as you spun around in your chair, sauntering over to you with a smirk as you tried not to laugh again. “It’s a mandatory meeting in our bed. No rescheduling. And I expect it to go the full hour. Maybe longer.”

“How did you manage to set up an alert on my computer?” You asked as he grasped your hands and helped you to your feet, having to steady yourself a bit when your head spun.

At least you remembered to eat. Well, that wasn’t technically true. Bucky brought you your meal earlier because he was the best boyfriend you could ask for.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he winked before he brought a palm to your cheek, his gaze shifting to something more serious. “But it seemed to get your attention.”

Your cheeks burned as you averted your gaze. “I wasn’t…” you trailed off, an apology on the tip of your tongue. Had you neglected him this past week? Or the ones before that?

Did he think you were a bad girlfriend?

Bucky slid his hand to your chin so you’d look at him again. “Hey,” he whispered when your lower lip trembled. “I didn’t mean anything by that and I’m not upset with you. I don’t think I could ever be upset with you. But, baby, you’ve been working your ass off even more than usual. I’m so fucking proud of you, but you need to take a real break.”

Your eyes burned, but no tears surfaced as he searched your gaze. “But-”

“What is it you always tell me about work?”

“That it’ll be there tomorrow, but we may not be” you answered, sighing. He was right. You couldn’t let work and expectations others set for you take control of your life. “I told you that the last time you ran yourself ragged with missions.”

He brought his mouth to your forehead to kiss it, his scruff tickling your skin. “And now I’m returning the favor,” he said against your skin. “So, come to bed. Lay with me. Just…”

“Be present,” you finished.

No phones. No work. No outside forces interfering. Just the pleasure of being with each other.

“Exactly,” he said, tugging you by the hand. “C’mon. We’re both late for our meeting.”

“Yes, Sir,” you teased, smiling when he groaned.

“This is a cuddle meeting, but it’ll turn into gently fucking you to sleep if you keep talking like that,” he warned you, pulling you to bed a bit faster.

“You say that like that’s a bad thing,” you smiled, gasping as he gently pushed you onto the mattress.

He braced a hand on each side of your head as he leaned down, his breath fanning your face when you whimpered. “Sex after we cuddle,” he breathed, sending a shiver down your spine. “Then we can cuddle again.”

You leaned up to brush your lips against his. “Deal,” you agreed.

Once he maneuvered you to the middle of the bed, his large body spooning yours, you couldn’t stop the tears that came. You bit your lip so he wouldn’t hear your soft sobs, but he must’ve sensed them as he grazed his nose along your neck affectionately and pulled you closer in his arms. You didn’t realize just how much you needed to be held until then.

It was as if all the stress faded away.

“I really am proud of you. Hardest working woman I know and always taking care of me,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your pulse as more tears hit the pillow.

“Because I love you, Bucky,” you whispered. Who wouldn’t want to take care of someone as amazing as James Buchanan Barnes?

“And I love you, too. So much,” he swore to you, turning you in his arms so he could kiss the tears away. The first kiss lingered on your cheek as he let out a shuddering breath. The sight of you crying likely broke his heart, but he didn’t say anything about it for your sake. “So let me be your personal hero today, okay? Let me take care of you and show that you’re more than enough.”

The words were so heartfelt and touching that you were surprised you didn’t melt on the spot. “You already are,” you promised before his lips met yours.

And he could pencil himself in for cuddles and more whenever he wanted.

I'll say it again, lovelies, you deserve breaks and you are more than enough. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[personasintro]

A part of Mutual Help series!

pairing: mh!jungkook x reader

warnings: explicit language, Kiko is mentioned (this deserves it's own warning)

genre: fluff

word count: 1.8k+

a/n: Merry Christmas! ♡

Mutual Help Series

.

.

“Oooh, what could be in here?” Taehyung muses, pursing his reddened lips that has gotten its own intense color thanks to the cold weather outside. 

What was he doing outside when you've been at this place for around an hour? Flirting, of course. 

“Knowing you, probably tons of condoms.” you answer, causing Taehyung to stop shaking the present he's just gotten from Jimin. It stops rattling under his grip as he shoots you a glare across the table. 

Unfazed, you reach with your chopsticks for a piece of meat before you put it in your mouth. Next to you, Jungkook cackles under his breath and Jimin looks proud by your little comment. 

“Well, miss I-don't-need-anyone, we all like to have our fun. Maybe you should try it.” Taehyung bites back. Though his tone sounds serious and deep with his thick accent, there's a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. 

You know how far you can take it to joke with each of your friends. Taehyung's got a thick skin and there's only so little you could actually say to offend him. Not that you would ever want to. Taehyung loves jokes and fun, he loves teasing and most of the time he's the one who takes it too far but never to actually cause a damage to your friendship. Whatever he says, you know should not be taken to heart literally. Therefore, no matter what he says about your single life – you don't take it as an insult. 

“Hooking up with a bunch of strangers? No thanks.”

He grins, “Maybe you should try it.”

“You offering?” you shoot right back, Jungkook choking on his soda as Jimin laughs out loud.

“You know what? Once you grow up a little, text me.”

You snort, “Stop acting as if I was a child.”

Taehyung shrugs, “No, but you're the baby of our group.”

Groaning, you frown. “Don't call me that.”

“Deny it all you want, Y/L/N but we all know the truth.”

“You guys scare almost every guy that looks at me. It beats the point of having fun.”

“Don't say shit like that, now! I'm all for you exploring and having fun.”

“Our point of fun is slightly different than hers, Tae.” Jimin comments, putting more meat to your plate as you thank him with a grateful smile. For the meat, of course. Although, he's not that off about the entire fun topic. 

“We all know what kind of fun we're talking about.”

“Alright, let's move on, yeah?” Jungkook calls, shaking his head at Taehyung.

“Here we go, protective Jungkook.”

“Why do you always somehow bring up sex in every conversation?” Jungkook scolds him.

Taehyung gasps, feigning offense as he points his finger at you. “First of all, she started talking about condoms!”

Jimin laughs out loud while you shoot him a glare for being too loud. God, you hope the owners won't kick you out. Talking so publicly about sex is often frowned upon. No one who wants to enjoy their meal wants to hear someone talking about sex from the other table. Unless those people are… open like Taehyung. He's always been a bit shameless. 

 Jungkook glances at you upon Taehyung's finger that's directed toward you. You shrug innocently. “So what? You automatically got into it.”

“You know it doesn't take too much for me.”

“That's true.” Jimin nods along with Taehyung's response. 

You laugh, “Just open the goddamn present, Tae.” 

He cracks a grin and starts laughing before he rips the package open. Surprisingly, it's not condoms – you would seriously laugh your ass out if it were – but it's a box of popular male fragrances in smaller versions. You recognize all of them, silently praising Jimin for this year's present. 

You all exchange presents for each other. There was an idea coming from Jimin, you think, last year to pick up a secret Santa for each year. But there's something special and thoughtful about buying everyone a gift. And it makes a slight burden to all your wallets, but nobody said the presents have to be expensive. Yet, they're always meaningful and nobody gives shitty presents here. 

You meet every year before Christmas since all of you spend it with your families. You've decided to make your own and celebrate it together, even if it's beforehand. This year it has to be because you're flying back home sooner than usual. 

They were kind enough to meet no matter what, said it wouldn't be the same if you weren't here. 

After that is done, Jungkook is the one to take you home since Taehyung came to pick you up. There's fog everywhere with snow sitting down and not melting anytime soon. You love when there's snow around Christmas time.

On your way home, it's not that late by the time you arrive. Jungkook helps you with your presents upstairs and accepts a cup of tea you offer him with a stern look. You're quick to shed the layers of clothes and make yourself more comfortable. You bring Jungkook his tea and make a hot chocolate for yourself.

“What you got in there?” you ask, plopping next to him as the warmth and scent of home hugs you. 

“A little something,” he says with a cheeky grin. 

Spotting the same Christmas wrapping paper he has used for all his presents, you give him a knowing look. You're about to protest and scold the shit out of him when he shakes his head with another grin. 

“Stop.”

“No, you stop!” you whine, “You already gave me your present.”

And it was great. Jungkook has given you two tickets to a water park that's located on Jeju Island. That alone tells you it wasn't quite cheap.

“It's not much, I swear.” 

“But why? We all decided on one present.” 

Grateful that he's so thoughtful, you're slightly annoyed that he broke the rule that perhaps never was so serious but it makes you feel bad. 

“Just because.”

“That's not a valid reason.”

“Sounds very valid to me,” he sings out, teasing you a little further as you both giggle. “You'll understand it once you open it.” he finishes it with that, urging you to open it.

Hiding the heat in your cheeks, you playfully roll your eyes and start unboxing the little box he has managed to sneak in his jacket. Curiosity and excitement takes over you because Jungkook's presents are always something else. You rip the package and gasp as soon as you recognize the familiar box.

“Kook!”

“You told me you ran out the other day.”

“Did you–”

“Bought it when Jimin bought Taehyung's present? Yeah.” He answers, already knows what you were about to ask. But you're too stunned to scold him for interrupting you.

You open the box and pull out your favorite perfume. A few weeks ago, you don't even know how that conversation came up but you mentioned to him that your perfume is running out indeed. It wasn't anything intentional of course, more of a whine when you were about to spray a tiny amount as you were about to go out. You thought he was barely listening to you, urging you to rush out your ass outside. His exact words. 

But he's always listening. 

“I think I'm gonna be more careful what I'm about to say in front of you. You're gonna buy me everything I mentioned.” you chuckle, taking a good inhale of your favorite flowery and powdery scent. You mostly use it during warm seasons but it's a good one even in the winter.

It's your staple scent. Everyone knows it. It's special. You were using it back at home and it not only smells incredible, it also holds a certain emotional attachment you have with it. 

“Don't worry about that, you're out of my budget.” 

You kick the side of his thigh as you cross your legs under your butt, carefully placing the bottle on the table next to the ripped wrapping paper. “I wanted to buy it after Christmas.” 

“You don't have to anymore.”

You give him a look, questioning his answer for everything as he simply justifies his thoughtfulness in the most basic manner. He always brushes it like it's nothing. But it's very special to you. He is. 

In seconds, you wrap your arms around him and hug him tightly. He lets out a surprised gasp, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he hugs you back. He's warm, smells like a mixture of his wooden cologne and winter air. 

“Thank you.” you mumble into his shoulder before you slowly pull away. “But seriously, you should stop spending so much money on me. Don't you have a girlfriend to spend money on?”

As far as you know, she's fine with it but who knows. Jungkook isn't the type to let anyone get into your or guys' friendships. But he's also in love and people in love tend to be slightly blind, if you must say so. Not that you speak from your own experiences but well, it's quite known. And Jungkook is definitely in love. 

“Don't worry about Kiko,” he assures you, “She'll get a good amount of presents too.”

“Well, I hope she loves you for you and not for your bank account.”

He scowls, causing you to give him a childish toothy grin that acts innocent. “She's not like that.”

“But I'm serious, you should stop spending so much money on people. Especially on me.”

“I spend my money however I want and you know what?” he asks with a grin, leaning closer to you as you watch him with wide eyes. “It's none of your business.” he flicks your nose with his thumb causing you to cuss him out as you push his forehead to get him away from your proximity. 

“So really, just accept it.”

“You're stubborn.”

“You're telling me?” he laughs out loud as if you just told him the biggest joke.

Rolling your eyes again, you purse your lips. “I wanted to be nice, you moron.”

“Be nice by just accepting it. And the simple thanks is just enough, not needed though. The hug was very nice.”

You slap his arm in a teasing manner which causes him to laugh even more. “I'll hug you for the rest of my life.”

“Promise?” he smirks. 

“I promise.” you giggle, nodding.

“Well, then Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas, Kook.” you smile, the warmth spreading all over your heart. Even though this year hasn't been all rainbow and sunshine, it's alright as long as you have these people right beside you. 

Who cares about presents? They're nice and show the thoughtfulness behind them by each of your friends. What you need the most is just them. And the special relationship you have with each of them will hopefully last your lifetime. Because if it doesn't, nothing will ever be the same. 

Without them you would feel lost. At the moment, you're anything but lost. You have your second family, hoping this tradition between you never dies and will continue years and years.

[muffinpink02]

alexia smut on the beach based on her latest IG post? 🥺🥺🥺

You can’t just give me puppy eyes and think I’m going to write an alexia smut beach fic..

Just a little short one….

I haven’t read this back, sorry if theres mistakes. Someone give me a name for this.

Warning - smut 18

Alexia stretched next to you as the sun started to set. You smiled at the uneven tan lines that painted her skin, her arms 10 shades darker than the rest of her body.

You looked over at the clear blue sea as it slowly stroked the gold sand. You were both finally on a break from the season, and both agreed you needed to have a holiday. And Mexico was the place.

You laid on your back, your Oakley glasses sat on your nose as you closed your eye inhaling the sea air. You had just started to doze off, when you felt soft lips at your neck. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you felt your girlfriend’s familiar lips on your skin.

“You’ve got a nice tan.” She whispered.

You opened your eyes, raising the sun glasses to your forehead. Alexia’s own hazel eyes looked like gold orbs as the pink sky kissed her face, she looked so beautiful. And she also looked horny.

Her gold orbs scanned your body, smiling to herself as she started to trace her finger tip on your thigh, dangerously close to your sex.

“Can I help you there?” You quirked your eyebrow.

“You can. I want these off.” She started to tug the string that held your underwear together.

“Ale. We’re on a public beach.” You chuckled.

“So? No one’s here.” Her teeth came into play as she kissed your neck, making you gasp.

She was right, the beach wasn’t that busy all day and now it seemed like it was only you and the Spaniard that remained.

“Come on baby. I’ve had to watch you in this tiny bikini all day. Et vull.”

You felt your clit starting to wake up as her fingers tickled your sensitive thighs, edging at the line of the fabric. She didn’t need to convince you much more. You looked around the beach once more, making sure you were alone and someone wasn’t about to catch you and your girlfriend getting down and dirty.

“Take them off.” You urged.

You laughed as Alexia’s face turned to excitement, easily pulling the string at your bikini, opening it up on one side. Alexia easily moved between your legs, kissing your thighs where her fingers had just sat, your hand automatically stroking at her hair.

You felt the air hit your already wet lips, making your skin prickle with goosebumps, but the cold air was replaced by Alexia’s warm lips on your sex.

“Fuck.” You gasped.

Her tongue stroked gently at your velvet folds, her mouth instantly making your body melt. Your fingers continued to stroke at her hair as her lips sucked on your clit. You could feel your bundle of nerves between her lips, while her tongue flicked and stoked.

You looked around the beach once more, making sure you were definitely alone, you were happy enough not seeing another soul. You sighed as your body began to relax, your hand wrapped around her pony tail, gently grinding your hips into her face.

She moaned at your movements, her hazel eyes gazing up at you, you bit your lip as she pulled back, you saw your essence gleaming on her chin and lips. She looked so fucking good, especially when she was between your legs.

You pushed her head back, your core was throbbing almost painfully, you needed her mouth back on you. She gladly licked back through your now wet folds, moaning as your familiar flavour dripped down her throat.

You started to groan, your hips began to buck hard against the blondes mouth, pushing her closer needing to feel her all over your sensitive flesh. You already felt your orgasm building, you looked down once more, Alexia’s head was bobbing between your legs, your hand still had a hold on her pony tail, making her work against you.

Then you felt it, your orgasm started to storm through your body. Your breath began to hitch in your chest, the heated sensation swelled and crashed through your neves. Alexia could feel your clit throbbing in her mouth. She hummed as her head was pushed closer, she nearly found it hard to breathe, but with the desperate way you moaned and called her name she wasn’t about to stop. Especially as your juices leaked on her tongue.

Your hips started to slow as your body relaxed, her tongue gently pressed against your clit, loving the way it still throbbed and twitched. You pulled her up by her pony, your wetness was all over her chin and lips, even the tip of her nose.

“Wow.” You breathed out.

Even though her face was smeared with your juices, and her neat pony was now a mess she never looked more beautiful. The pink and purple sky sat behind her like a splash painting, making the whole, probably illegal act even more breathtaking.

Alexia smiled at you. “Si. Wow.” She kissed your stomach, creeping up your body until she reached your face, pushing her tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t stop the groan as you tasted yourself, you never got tired of tasting yourself on the girls mouth.

She pulled back her eyes roaming your face.

“Marry me.”

[starkeysprincess]

okay so i was thinking something inspired by your fic,

Like the reader is inexperienced and knows that rafe doesn’t do virgins/soft so even tho it’s hurting she tries to take it, till eventually she can’t. She fears that he’s gonna dump her but instead rafe takes care of her

nonnie is referring to making an arrangement w/ rafe (dom!rafe) this can be read alone since it’s just my thoughts on this ask, this is soft!rafe

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

i can see this towards the beginning of their little arrangement that they have going on since she’s still fairly inexperienced around this time.

she knows what she’s gotten herself into the moment they made the arrangement and has heard about his experiences with other women which has her second guessing herself since he doesn’t sleep with women who are virgins or inexperienced but she’s the first and only exception.

because she knows what she signed up for, she’s definitely going to try to take it especially because she doesn’t want to stop seeing him.

she would have tears welling in her eyes cause she can barely take it but before rafe can even say anything, she would tell him to keep going and at first, he would.

but the moment he sees the discomfort and pain on her face, he immediately slows down and stops, “shit, princess, am i hurting you?”.

we all know she’s going to lie through her teeth and tell him no cause she thinks the moment she says yes, he’s ending the arrangement and dumping her like nothing.

what she doesn’t know is that rafe knows her body well enough at this point and knows when she’s in pain or in discomfort.

“don’t lie to me, princess. been inside of you enough to know when it’s too much for you to take”.

she doesn’t even realize the hold she has on him, she was different from the women he’s been with. she was constantly on his mind, no matter what he was doing, he was always thinking of her, he can never be upset with her.

when she doesn’t verbally answer but instead sniffles, his heart aches. his need for taking his frustrations out and being in control are automatically replaced with him immediately peppering her face with kisses, whispering nothing but reassuring words in her ears.

rafe cuddles her for a bit, holding her in his arms before getting out of his bed to start running a warm bath. when he comes back, he scoops her up in his arms, carrying her to the bathroom and helping her get in before settling down behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her gently kisses to help make her feel relaxed.

once she starts to feel relaxed in the warm bath with him holding her, she can feel her eyes getting heavy as she rests her head back against his shoulder, making him smile.

“you have no idea the effect you have on me already” he whispers once he notices her eyes are shut and her breathing becoming more relaxed.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

tagging: @oceandriveab / @peterpan-neverfails / @flvredcas / @rafeinterlude / @drudyslut / @hallecarey1 / @xxbimbobunnyxx / @redhead1180 / @heartsforvin / @eddieslut69 / @babygorewhore / @kisses4angel / @hyperfixationgirl / @emilysuperswag / @sturnioloshacker / @starkeysheart / @ihe4rttwd / @maiiuelle / @nemesyaaa / @espressomunson

[freshxsturniolo]

but, why? PART TWO. chris sturniolo x femreader!

disclaimer : i hate the fact i had to use some random male name for this story to work lmao but i didn't want this to be about another influencer / youtuber. enjoy!!!!!

they had been waiting for you, like a damn interrogation, when you arrived at their house. you had your own key, of course, and you announced your arrival as you slipped off your shoes at the bottom of the stairs. no sound rang out but you didn't think anything of it, the noise of the tv above you loud enough for you to know they were probably scattered around the middle floor of their house. you turned to walk up the stairs, and an eye roll came so easy as you saw the three of them. sat together on the couch, arms crossed together, looking at you intensely.

"you're all so fucking annoying." you muttered under your breath, but with every intention for them to hear.

nick broke character first, laughing as he lunged off the couch and walked over to you, taking the slurpee tray from your hand and placing it on the coffee table before turning and giving you a hug. his familiar smell, always smelling like he had just got out the shower, comforting you immediately. you couldn't help but let out a smile as you squeezed your best friend.

when you finally removed yourself from the embrace, matt was standing closely behind, waiting to give you a hug too.

"you didn't text me back" he mumbled into your hair, and you laughed as you patted his back lightly.

"sorry, bernard. im here now" you said into his chest. he chuckled as he let go of you.

"i need to use the bathroom, don't start the story telling without me" he said with a cheeky grin. you rolled your eyes once again, going to jokingly slap his arm, but he had got away too quickly.

nick had made his way into the kitchen, the slurpee you had bought him already in his hand as he walked across to cupboard, pulling out some chips. but you eyes quickly diverted to chris, his ass firmly still on the couch, arms still folded. you stared at him for a short second before walking over to him, standing directly in front of him. his position didn't move but his eyes did, as they looked you up and down. you dipped your knees, so they hit his, before you stood back up again. one quick motion. he still didn't move. you stared at him intensely, nick now signing the words to a billie eilish song behind you both, before you shrugged and turned around. you knew not playing into chris' games was the way to get him to stop. his hands where on your waist in seconds, and you pulled down onto the space beside him where matt had just been in one swift swoop.

"CHRIS" you shouted, as he removed his hands from your waist, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest.

"what?" he said, like nothing had happened, and you couldn't help but laugh as you swung your arm around his waist. you stayed like that for a moment before matt reappeared.

"oh gods" he began, picking up his slurpee now along with yours and made his way over to you both. "you two are unbelievable"

you laughed, but you won't deny you noticed the way chris gave his brother a stern eye as you took the slurpee from him. you watched them both, having removed yourself from chris' chest, but before you could question it, nick finally appeared.

"okay" he said, grabbing chris' slurpee and walking over to you to you, slamming himself down on the couch next to chris, matt sitting closely behind. "tell us everything"

you groaned, automatically pushing yourself into chris' side, who's arm had not left you shoulder yet, and took a sip of your drink. when your eyes diverted back up to the three boys, they were all staring at you. matt and nick with a smirk, chris with what you could only describe as ... intrigue.

you sigh. "okay, so you know i've been going on dates with him, right?"

"no" chris answers immediately, and your eyes divert to him with a wince. of course he didn't know, neither did matt. you had only briefly confided in nick and clearly, true to his word, he hadn't uttered even an whisper to his two brothers. your eyes quickly glance in his direction, and he confirms with a shake of his head he'd kept quiet. you look away before either of his brothers notice.

"well" you say, looking at chris now. "i have. and hes super nice, okay? we've been for dinner and drinks a few times and i just have a good sense about him. this feels really different."

you could feel chris' breathing becoming harsher, but you ignore it as you look over to nick and matt, both with smiles on their faces. you can't stop the small laugh that escapes your mouth, like a little school girl.

"so, hes really not your boyfriend yet?" nick asks with a widened eye. but you smile.

"i mean, he hasn't asked me yet, but..." and you go quiet, butterflies in your stomach as you think back to just a few hours earlier. the kisses, the hand touching, the things he was saying. "he called me his girl earlier. and he's invited me out with his friends later this week." you look to matt now, almost wanting confirmation from a straight man who would actually tell you the truth. "that means something, right?"

matt smiled as his lips drew away from his slurpee straw. "i mean, none of my friends have ever met a girl i didn't seriously like."

your hear soared. but it didn't last long.

"whats this boys name?" chris said, his arm finally removing from your shoulder. your entire body feeling cold suddenly from the lack of touch. you pulled back slightly too, removing yourself from his side.

"his name is jason" you reply. you're met with an immediate scoff before chris turns away, finally taking a sip from his slurpee.

"what?!" you say firmly, and you notice the look that nick and matt give each other from the corner of your eye. you glance at them just slightly, before turning back to chris. "what?!" you say again, more firmly.

chris shrugs. he shrugs like he didn't care when you knew full well he did, and you dont know why you got your back up about it but you did.

"you know," you said, standing up from the couch and putting your slurpee down. your words were directed at chris but you could see nick and matts eyes widen. "this is exactly why i don't tell you about this type of stuff. every man i have ever spoken to you're down my neck about it. if you won't tell me what the fucking issue is, chris, don't speak to me at all."

you turned on your heel, fishing for your car keys out of your pocket within seconds, reaching the top of the stairs and practically throwing yourself down them. you could hear hushed voices from the three of them muttering to each other, but you didn't care. you wanted, for once, your best friend to be happy for you in a situation like this.

you made it to the bottom of the stairs, you'd managed to open the front door and step outside, before you heard your name being called. you stopped for just a brief second before you let out a sigh, shutting the door behind you anyway. you made your way down the drive and to your car parked out front before you heard the name again, and just a short second afterwards, just as you were about to open your car door, you felt hands on your wrist and you where being pulled into someones chest.

"im sorry" chris said, his familiar smell on his hoodie had clearly just thrown on quickly before coming outside into the evening chill. you stayed rigid, still angry, but if there was anyone you couldn't stay mad at for long it was chris. you sighed, before you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him in even closer as he rested his chin on your head. "im sorry" he said again, and you gave his back a stroke of your thumb before pulling away.

"you're really insufferable sometimes, chris" you said as you looked up at him.

"i know, im sorry." he said again.

"but why?"

he sighed, his eyes looking all over your face like he was questioning himself before speaking. you didn't let your eyes leave his once.

"just-" and he stopped. "i dont know. if you're happy im happy."

there was something inside of you that didn't believe him. part of him that wanted to ask him again, and tell him to be serious. but part of you was scared for the answer. so you didn't. you simply grabbed his hand, spun him around, and started walking back into the direction of his house, throwing yourself into a completely different topic. chris laughed immediately, but you noticed, just briefly, the was his thumbs rubbed against your hand. the way he pulled you in, just a tiny bit closer.

[erwinsvow]

Orrr shy reader dying of embarrassment (but not really) when rafe has a jealousy fit

- 💓

you paw at your boyfriend's arm, trying to pull him away. your face is flushed with heat at the scene in front of you—rafe pushing some random boy at the party against the closest surface, slamming his head onto a table and holding him down. there’s a crowd forming, which makes you want to curl up into a ball and cry on the floor, because there’s nothing worse than crowds.

you stand corrected, because you’re realizing there is something worse—rafe getting angry at some stranger for talking to you and choking him out. 

it’s a little silly of you, to completely ignore what everyone had been telling you about rafe, but you had done it anyways. all the talk about his temper and aggression had been easily forgotten when he treated you so sweetly—attending to your every need, changing the way he talked to make sure he didn’t spook you into thinking he was upset, being incredibly understanding when you froze up or started crying. 

the rafe others talked about was exactly that—just for others, never for you.

“y’like botherin’ innocent girls? huh?” you squirm at the sight of the boy in pain as rafe presses his head down, bending his arm behind his back. the boy tries to stay something back, but all that comes out is tortured noises. “i should break your arm. that’ll be a lesson.”

it’s all too much for you—yes, the boy wouldn’t leave you alone while rafe went to get you a drink. yes, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, not even i have a boyfriend, told to him while staring at your shoes. you still don’t think he deserves this, because he’s in a lot of pain, and your boyfriend is the one causing it.

“rafe, c’mon,” you plead again, pressing your hand to his back, trying to pull him away. your soft grip does nothing. “please, rafe, i wanna go, i don’t like this-” 

rafe loosens his grip on the stranger’s arm, letting it fall. he picks him up by the back of his shirt, pulling him to look at you. you take a step back automatically, getting frightened, but rafe nods at you to come closer. 

“s’your lucky day, asshole. my girl doesn’t like fights. tell ‘er sorry..” the boy mumbles something but rafe shakes him again, until the boy looks at you and sputters out an apology. he lets him fall back, and guides you away. you notice all the people staring, the boy probably staring daggers at rafe. you want to look back—go back and apologize yourself to everyone, even to the boy bothering you, like you’re used to doing—but rafe grips your waist tight and doesn’t even let you turn your head. 

back in his truck, you’re all shaky breaths and watery eyes. he thinks that would have made him mad once upon a time. not now.

“c’mon, stop cryin’. what’s wrong?” he sounds gentle, and you almost forget what he just did.

“y-you scared me. it was scary.”

“you got nothing to be scared of.” he doesn’t sound upset with you, but you still worry that he is, with the way your shoulders are still quivering. he knows you, knows how your little brain spins when you’re afraid he’s getting mad. “you’re my girl, i have to protect you, okay? that’s my job. just doing my job.” 

you look up at him with your wet eyes, holding eye contact for longer than you usually can, before looking back at your lap, playing with your hands.

“thank you. m’sorry, rafe.” rafe puts his hand on your chin and uses it to tilt your head up, until the two of you are looking at each other again.

“why’re you sayin’ sorry?” 

“because…if he hadn’t talked to me nothing would have happened. and i feel terrible. and your knuckles probably hurt, now.” he holds back a laugh as best as he can, but you still notice it. 

“none of that was your fault. stop apologizin’ for shit you didn’t do. my knuckles are fine.” he wipes a spilled tear away from your cheek. “m’not gonna let someone treat you like that. even if you don’t care. i fuckin’ care. got it?”

“got it,” you murmur back, looking up at him with big, hazy eyes. you don’t think you were ever upset at rafe, just upset that it was even happening. but now, in the comfort and safety of his truck, you take in the meaning of his words—how much he’d do for you, how much he cares, how you don’t have to feel bad about it. “can i come back home with you?”

“sure, kid. wanna watch a movie?”

“no, i wanna make it up to you.”

[late-night-secrets]

!! tw: smut -> 18+!! (reader discretion advised) !!

**********

The Fish ♡

[Video]

The Fish ♡

Dont open in public

Or do but dont say i didnt warn u ;P

The video’s display picture is nothing but a black screen with nothing to indicate what the file might contain.

The Fish ♡

Miss u my love <3

[Video play]

It automatically opens in full-screen mode and, like its display picture, shows nothing but a black screen at first. Then, the camera moves and Rafayel appears. It seems like he’s recording with his phone, holding it sideways and having the front camera switched on, just like those vloggers and influencers on social media often do. With this angle only his head and neck are visible. He is in a poorly lit room, only illuminated by a soft, blue hue from some artificial light source.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greets with a smile as soft as his voice. “How are you doing? I know, our last phone call was yesterday but that’s not nearly enough to stop me from missing you. And you keep telling me you miss me, too, so here I am.” He moves the phone away a few inches, so his shoulders and a proudly outstretched arm become visible. They are bare.

The phone moves closer to his face again and he brushes through a few strands of his hair that appear dark in the dimmed room. “So, erm, actually… Hm, how do I put this?” Even with the poor lightning, his ears take on a clearly darker shade and his gaze suddenly moves away from the camera. “You know what we talked about last night? Yeah, erm… I thought about it and decided on preparing something for you…” Not only his ears but also his cheeks turn red as he blushes.

Rafayel is silent for a few heartbeats, just clears his throat once. Then, he moves around and places the phone somewhere. After inching back, it becomes obvious that he’s in his bedroom and he has put the phone on his nightstand near the pillow. The blanket is neatly folded and pressed against the wall so there is quite some space on the mattress. Rafayel himself takes a seat on the bed, facing the camera cross-legged.

He is wearing nothing but a pair of grey boxer briefs that do little to no good of hiding of whatsoever.

There is still this beautiful blush on his face but at least he is looking directly at the phone camera again. “Well, you know I haven’t done anything like this before, so this can turn out as a huge failure, but I wanna give it a shot and I think you might like it. Plus…” Suddenly he turns shy again and scratches his head. “… I had a dream about you last night. About us, to be precise.”

His gaze shifts to some random spot on the mattress and then to the source of the artificial light; it has to be something that is placed behind the camera. It seems to give him courage to continue because suddenly his eyes relax, and his voice comes out steady although a little hoarse. “We were at the beach, just taking a walk, and the sun was setting. Everything was so… orange.”

He looks at the camera again. “Thinking of it now, it was a bit too much; the color, I mean, too loud… But, shit, it looked so good on your skin.” One of the corners of his mouth lifts into a half-smirk. “You wore such a tiny bikini, something I would never let you wear in public. But it looked so hot on you. Fuck, and that color… I swear, your skin was golden!”

He leans on his left arm, angling his head to the unknown source of light while his eyes flicker over something that is not visible to the phone camera. His right hand finds its way to his crotch, the movement apparently spontaneous. “I remember… One moment I was admiring you, and the next–” Suddenly, his eyes shoot back to the camera, his smirk growing cockier. “–I was inside you.”

In this moment, his palm presses down, with intention, and his breath hitches for a second. “You… were riding me, right there, at the shore. And you looked so, so pretty…!” He keeps rubbing himself through his briefs, and his eyes flutter shut for a short moment before he looks at the camera again. “But, I swear, sweetheart, no dream could keep up with the real You. Shit, I miss you.”

His eyes close once more, and he slowly throws his head back at the sensation of his moving hand. Something stirs beneath the fabric, gradually growing into something long and hard. Rafayel is silent for a few minutes. At some point he lifts his head again to look at the source of the artificial light. It seems to captivate him, with his eyes barely blinking and making small jumps from one point to another. Sometimes the hues shift, fading from white to blue, indicating some kind of change.

Gracefully, he changes his position. To get more comfortable, he slides the left hand he has leant on until now further towards his pillow, his upper body following. The movement is so fluid and controlled and seductive, it’s hard to believe he’s been embarrassed just a few minutes before. He ends up lying down on his side, his left hand propped up to support his head. For better access for his other, much busier hand, he has his right leg put up as well. Like this, nearly Rafayel’s whole body is stretched out. Given the camera angle, his head and upper body are a bit closer than the rest, yet it does not spoil the view; how this man keeps such a fit body for someone who hates to exercise remains a mystery.

“I’m looking at the pictures you sent me, by the way,” he suddenly says, his voice almost startling after the minutes of silence. “The ones that should help me out when I miss you.” His eyes flick to the camera, and he winks. “I created a slideshow that’s playing on the TV right now. Wait, let me show you…”

He lifts himself off his left hand to stretch it towards the camera. It gets comically huge as it taps on the screen. Rafayel’s gaze, dark and lust-filled just now, drifts slightly to the side as he appears to look at his phone screen in concentration. “Huh? Is there no button to switch to the back camera while recording?” It looks like he swipes across the screen and suddenly flinches. “Oh, shit! I didn’t stop it, did I?” One more tap on the screen and his face lights up in relief. “No, it’s still recording. Good. But I guess I can’t show you right now, sweetheart. Sorry.”

He falls back to his previous position on the mattress. “I love those pictures but they, too, are not even close… Ah, what should I do?” He runs his hand across his face in frustration before using it as support again.

From this point on, it doesn’t take long until his slender fingers slide underneath his waistband. He hisses. His hand isn’t visible anymore, but the up-and-down movement of his right arm leaves little left to imagine. The first moan escapes his lips, so soft and quiet and easy to miss if one doesn’t pay attention. Briefly, he stops to slide the boxers completely off. And then, he’s fully bare.

God, the way he looks…! His firm chest, his toned abs, the prominent V-line. The kissable freckles all over his smooth skin. His pale hand wrapped around his cock, pumping rhythmically, muscles flexing. The way his rib cage flows into the dip of his waist and then up to his hip bone; the artificial light casting deep shadows that sharpen all those features. And his face…! Eyes half-lidded and dark, mouth slightly ajar with soft sounds leaving every now and then. A blush across his ears and cheeks that gradually creeps down his neck towards his chest. Rafayel is handsome and beautiful at the same time; divine even. That gorgeous, gorgeous man…!

His hazy gaze seems to be set on the pictures as he pleasures himself with tugs and twists that elicit more of those delicious sounds. He settles for a lazy pace that occasionally speeds up for a few seconds. Sometimes, he pauses, watches as his cock jumps against his lower abdomen when letting go. As he slowly, almost provokingly, strokes up and down with one of his long fingers his eyes shift to the camera again with that tantalizing smirk of his.

When he wraps his hand around his tip and begins to make circling motions, it looks like something inside him snaps; he throws his head back, throat exposed, and openly moans into the room. He keeps going, torments that sensitive part of his body although his leg starts twitching and his upper body shaking. Rafayel’s head collapses onto the pillow as his supporting arm gives out, face pressed into the cover and moans muffled. His now free hand grabs the soft cushion tightly, making his knuckles turn white.

“Shit, baby…!” he curses into the pillow. He turns his head to the phone, so a few strands of his hair fall into his face while others are pushed back, exposing a part of his forehead. His mouth is free again, his groans and sighs clear. And his half-lidded eyes, one barely visible at that angle, zero in on the camera. “Fuck, I need you…!”

He’s pumping his cock again, so sensitive now that he can’t stop squirming at the touch of his own hand. Shadows dance across the curves of his body as it moves with gracefulness; the body of a man who knows elegance like a second nature, knows it despite his state of desperation and need. “Oh, please come back soon! This is not even close…!”

A whiny voice oh so contrary to that sinful face. Ears and cheeks blushing red, half-lidded eyes dark with lust and the smirk so, so smug. He looks drunk. He looks irresistible. He knows exactly what he’s doing. “Are you touching yourself to me? I hope you do… Shit, I need you to!” His hand is still now, his hips are not. They are bucking into his fist again and again and again; fast and purposeful. The grip on his pillow seems to grow stronger. “Hah– We should make a video together when you come back, don’t you think? A recording of us, making love. That’ll be so, hah– hot, won’t it? I bet it’ll be.”

His pace is quickening, his groans turn louder. “Oh, please, please…!” Despite his needy demeanor his gaze is so… demanding. With eyes emitting an aquatic hue that doesn’t have anything to do with the screen showing the photos; eyes that haven’t blinked in a good while. He’s mumbling sweet nothings, sensual and senseless, “Do you like this? Me, making a fool out of myself just for you? Oh– Do you want me to be your personal cam boy?”

He keeps going like this, changing between breathless babbling to chants of endearment to sinful moans. And then, suddenly, his mouth falls wide open, and his eyes squeeze shut. The muscles of his abdomen flex as he keeps his hips pressed against his fist. Just when his cock starts twitching, white spurts of cum leave his tip and make a mess on his stomach. Still riding out his orgasm, he slowly strokes himself into sensitivity, making him pant. “Oh, my love…!” he purrs and looks at the camera again. After finishing, he puts his index finger on his slick tip and experimentally slides it along its slit. The action produces one of the most beautiful whimpers this man has made, and his whole body shudders.

Not long until he lets go of his softening cock. His curious fingers wander upwards instead, admiring the messy abdomen and the heaving chest. Then, he rolls flat on his back, still catching his breath and one arm across his eyes. It takes him a good minute or two to recover enough to catch some tissues for cleaning up.

Only when he picks up the phone again at last, does his face come into focus again. He’s still blushing a deep red, his eyes giving away that clear thoughts have returned to his mind. “So…” he starts awkwardly. His voice is still a little hoarse, a little out of breath. “There’s that. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did.” He goes silent again, apparently thinking deeply. The next second he covers his face with his free hand. “Oh my, the things I’ve said…! That’s post-nut-clarity for you…”

He aggressively rubs across his face and runs his fingers through his hair as if to get rid of the embarrassment. “Still, I… actually would like us to record… stuff. Well… Let me know if you’d be down to talk about it once you’ve returned.” His eyes suddenly drift away in shyness. “And if you don’t, let me know, too, please. It’s all… very new to me.” He scratches his neck and ends up covering his mouth in thought.

All of a sudden, he snaps out of his trance of overthinking and smiles brightly. “Anyways, I miss you dearly, my love. I do hope you liked it because I had fun. Love you, sweetheart.” He blows a kiss to the phone. Then, his finger moves close to the screen, probably towards the recording button. Briefly, his eyes shift the camera to directly look at it at the end. “See you soon, my love. Bye-bye!”

And just like that, the video ends. The last frame shows Rafayel with his flushed face, soft smile and eyes full of endearment. Partly covered by the triangle-shaped play-button to rewatch the recording.

**********

masterlist

[moonstruckme]

Hii honey!! I hope you’re doing good, would you be willing to write about the reader trying to quit smoking weed and either Sirius or Remus helps her through it <3. I’m currently on day 2 of quitting and it’s SO HARD, but it’ll be good for me

Hi lovely, thank you for requesting! Hope quitting is going okay for you, I've heard the first week is the worst but I'm rooting for you!

cw: weed (reader isn't smoking but is around people who are), reader has hair long enough to reach her neck

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 844 words

The sound of Marlene flicking her lighter reaches you like a siren’s call. You can hear it from across the room, your head turning towards her automatically. She raises a blunt to her lips, smoke pluming from between them a moment later. You know it’s impossible, but you think you can smell it already. You breathe in like you can taste it. 

“I’m spent.” Sirius’ voice sounds like it’s coming from faraway, but his hand wrapping around your thigh is solid. It brings you back to your side of the room, where your boyfriend’s looking at you with a jovial grin and a knowing flicker in his eyes. “You ready to head out, gorgeous?” 

“I could stay longer if you want to,” you say, trying to tell him it’s okay. Even if there’s an insistent tugging in your middle, a familiar ache in your lungs, dying to bring you to where Marlene sits. 

Sirius doesn’t hesitate. “No, I think I’d rather get you to myself.” 

James groans for show, but his expression is fond as he watches Sirius pull you up from the couch and tug you playfully into his side. He loves seeing his best friend in love; he’s told you directly more than once. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. “Rem’s off somewhere with Lily, but I’ll make sure he’s up in time.” 

“We could always push until the afternoon,” Sirius tries, grabbing both of your jackets from where they’re slung across the back of the couch. You feel a bit like you’re in a daze, the headache that’s been pestering you all day suddenly an insistent throb. 

“Fat chance.” James waves you both off with a laugh. “See you bright and early, Pads.” 

“Wanker,” Sirius mutters as you turn away, but he doesn’t stop to argue further, guiding you out of the party while you both call hasty goodbyes to your friends. When Marlene raises her hand in a wave, your vision narrows on the blunt between her fingers as you smile in reply. 

Outside, the night air is fresh and pleasantly cool. Goosebumps skitter up your arms, and you take your jacket from Sirius, letting him hold your bag while you shrug it on. 

“I thought we might walk home,” he says, watching you with something hidden in his expression as you pull your hair out of your collar and take your bag back. “Does that sound good?” 

“Yeah,” you agree, starting in the direction of Sirius’ place. Walking is good for your head when the cravings are bad like this, you’ve found. Your boyfriend knows this. “Thanks for getting me out of there.” 

He falls into stride beside you, slipping a hand into your back pocket like that’s where it belongs. “Figured I ought to do my part in keeping you out of trouble.” 

You huff a laugh. “Doesn’t sound much like you.” 

“I know.” Sirius’ nose wrinkles. Somehow he manages to make even that look pretty. “Look what you’re doing to me, sweetheart. I’m disgusted with myself.” 

You roll your eyes, and he grins, squeezing your butt playfully through your pants. Your laughter rings out sharply on the quiet street. 

“I wouldn’t worry too much,” you assure him. “You and your friends are still terrible influences on me.” 

Sirius gasps loudly. His hand slips from your back pocket and he fists both in the front of your jacket, a grin slicing across his face as he yanks you closer. “That so?” he asks in a low voice.

It’s impossible to keep your own lips from curving. “Mhm.” 

“I resent these accusations. We’ve just left a house full of saints. You can see their halos glowing right above their heads.” 

“Then you’ve had more to drink than I thought.” 

Sirius’ laugh rings out, loud and stomach-flipping. He kisses you soundly with a smile on his face, fingers still bunched in your jacket. “Really,” he says, slipping an arm around your waist as you start walking again, “do you want me to tell Marls not to smoke around you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind taking it outside.” 

You take a deep breath. Remind yourself that the air clearing your head instead of muddling it is a good thing. “No, that’s alright. I’m going to have to get used to it eventually.” 

Sirius makes an agreeable humming sound. He presses a kiss to your temple. “Proud of you, sweetheart.” 

You huff a laugh, though the words start a pleasant buzzing in your chest. “Sap.” 

“Don’t tell Jamie.” 

“Oh, I’m telling him.” 

“No,” Sirius says firmly, as if you can’t hear the laughter in his tone, “it’s only for you. If you tattle on me I’ll have to stop doing it.” 

You roll your eyes, going quiet. It’s not so much an aquiescence as a contented silence, but you let your boyfriend take it for what he will. He squishes you up against his side fondly. 

“I am, you know,” he says, voice softening with sincerity. “I’m proud of you, baby.” 

You suppose that for now, that can be enough for you.

[jellalism]

Kinktober 2024, Day 12: Consequence (Erotica)

You were caught by Noel, and now you have to suffer the consequences of your escape attempt. Sequel to Day 5: Sneak.

Word count: 2441 words

Genre: Erotica, horror

Reader’s gender and sex: gender neutral, but “boy/girl” used. Reader does not wear a bra.

Content warnings: Yandere and all that that entails, including sadism/torture, rape/dubcon, manipulation. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

Notes: Noel is an OC of @devotion-disorder. The art in the banner is also by them!

Read below or on AO3.

“Go on. Walk. You know the way to the punishment room.” Noel gives you a push in the back, making you stumble forward, forcing you further up the stairs. “The more you dawdle, the worse it will be. Time’s ticking, honey.” The way he uses that term is nowhere near cute. It is possessive. He uses it specifically to remind you to who you belong. Anyone else who’d call you ‘honey’ would soon eat their words… or become unable to speak any word at all.

You obediently make your way upstairs. Your body already hurts. The blood drips from your nose into your mouth and down your chin. The way he has kicked you in the back and slammed his body into yours once you were on the ground makes you feel sore all over. But you know it’s going to get worse. I’d better obey him, you think. There’s no way out.

“See? You can obey me. If only you had done that earlier, we would not be in this sticky situation. But noooo, you just had to try to break out.” He smacks your ass hard, but your trousers take some of the impact. For now. “Now I have to punish you.”

You reach the top of the stairs and go right without a word. To the punishment room, right next to the bedroom. The activities done in one room may easily lead to the adjoining one.

“Stand there.” He points some distance away from the door. He fishes a key out of his pocket and opens the door. “After you.” He holds the door open for you. For just a second, you hesitate, but you know you have no choice. Any survival instincts kicking in must be repressed. You have to embrace the pain to survive, counter-intuitive though it is.

The room is filled with all kinds of devices to inflict pain. There’s different whips, pads, cuffs, and things you don’t even know the use of. ‘Punishment room’ is a euphemism; ‘torture chamber’ is more apt. In the middle, a wooden table stands.

“On it. On your back. I want to see your face.”

You do as he says. Noel roughly grabs your wrists and clicks them into the cuffs attached to the table. They’re above shoulder height, so they don’t twist your arms too badly. But that’s not the point of the cuffs, anyway. The point is not even to stop you from escaping—Noel is strong and fast enough to do that with his body. The point is simply to make you feel helpless. To be unable to reflexively lift your arms in self-defense, to be unable to have that basic biological function do its work, adds to the utter despair that he can arouse in you. That he will arouse in you.

He takes your ankles and cuffs them to the table, as well. Your legs are a little ways apart.

“Oh, it seems like you still have your clothes on. Totally forgot about that!” Noel says, clearly acting. You can’t see him from your position. “Guess we’ll have to rid you of them unconventionally.” And suddenly, he hangs over you, showing you a knife. It looks sharp as hell. Your breathing grows shallow. You hope he isn’t going to do what you think he will.

He moves to the side of the table and positions the knife at the neck of your shirt. Then he presses down. You feel it pressing into your skin. He takes your shirt and starts cutting. He doesn’t press the knife into your body every time. But every once in a while, you feel the sharp blade moving over your torso, opening it up, no doubt making you bleed.

“Noel, I’m afraid,” you mutter. You didn’t even think about the words; they just came out automatically. Strangely, sometimes you find that you want him to comfort you. He’s always there for you, after all. The only one who’s there. And sometimes, in your despair, you cry out for him.

“You’re afraid? As you should be.” He finishes cutting and tears the remainders of your shirt from your body. You feel the cloth covering your back slide out from under you. Your entire torso is now displayed to him. “Bad [boy/girl]s won’t get any comfort from me. You fucked around. Now it’s time to find out.”

He clenches his fist and smashes it into your stomach. Pain sears through you. You feel the bile rising in your throat, but swallow it down. Then you sputter and cough, and scream.

“See? No pity from me. It’s all your fault, you know? I can be nice. You know I can be nice. I love you, and I want nothing but the best for you. You know this.” He caresses your face with the knife, leaving a shallow cut on your left cheek. “That’s why I’m hurting you. It would be terrible for you and me both if you were to continue misbehaving. So I need to beat it out of you.”

“P-please,” you stammer in fear. You know it won’t do anything, but the words just spill from your mouth.

Noel ignores you. He moves to the back of the table, outside of your field of vision. “Time to get started on your trousers.” He sets the knife at the bottom, making a cut in the cloth near your right ankle. “Fuck it, I don’t have time for this.” You hear the sound of tearing cloth and feel cold air running up all over your leg. He does the same for your left leg: a small cut at the bottom, and rest is just one big tear. For the last part, near your waist, he takes out his knife again. He doesn’t hold back this time. He sets the knife in the cloth forcefully and cuts the last bit of cloth efficiently, without regard for your skin. You whimper and cry as the knife leaves a deep cut. You hear Noel chuckle.

He quickly removes the tatters of your trousers from your body. You’re only wearing your underwear now, though there’s not much left of it. But there’s still enough to conceal your most private parts.

“I’ll leave that on for now.”

You sigh in relief. A last shred of dignity can be retained. It is a tiny shred, but you have to take what you can get.

“Just kidding!” And he tears your underwear apart, exposing your genital area.

“Noel!” you cry out.

“What is it, baby?” He sounds cruel.

“Noel… please… I’m s-sorry. I’m so so sorry. I won’t do it again, I swear!” You’ve completely lost control of your mouth, rattling off apologies without even thinking about it.

He moves so that you can see him again. “No can do. I told you: if you are naughty, you will be punished. It’s not like I want to hurt you, but it’s necessary. You should never ever forget what happens when you break the rules. The consequences of that should be as dependable as gravity.” He says that, but you know better. He fucking loves to hurt you. Part of him is happy you broke the rules, so that he has a good excuse for fucking demolishing you. Knowing that only intensifies the fear.

“I’m sorry,” you sob, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Noel moves back and rummages around. “Ah, got it!” He steps towards you to show you his find. A whip. But not just any whip: this one has spiky studs. “This will be a night to remember, y/n.”

“Please, for the love of God, Noel, stop!” Tears are streaming down your face; the terror he inspires in you is out of this world. “I beg of you!”

“Hmmm… should I stop?”

“Please, Noel! I’ll do anything for you! Please, just… don’t hurt me.” Something inside of you breaks, and you start sobbing even louder, making you unable to speak another word.

Noel just laughs. Suddenly, you feel a searing pain on your thighs, and you scream at the top of your lungs. As soon as you finish the scream, you gulp for air, but then the whip strikes again. Another scream escapes you; your entire world is pain. Somewhere in the back of your consciousness, you hear Noel complain giddily about how you make too much noise, but it doesn’t register. All you can do is sob and scream.

More lashings follow—you don’t even know how many, nor how long it lasts. Just that, at some point, the burning pain stops renewing itself. Suddenly, Noel’s face is right above yours; too close. “Now that’s what I like to see. You’ve learned your lesson now, right?”

You nod shakily, unable to do anything else. He could be asking you to sell your soul and you’d still nod; all you want is for the pain to end.

“Good, good.” He undoes the cuffs around your wrists and ankles. You feel his arms slide under you and, with a grunt, he lifts you up and walks out of the room. You both know you wouldn’t be able to walk by yourself. Still sobbing, you snuggle against him. God, how you missed him. This softer Noel. The one that would hold you in his arms.

He chuckles. “You’re such a good [boy/girl] now.”

A few moments later, he throws you on the bed. It doesn’t come as a surprise that he carried you to the bedroom. Noel is undressing hurriedly, unable to wait another moment.

“On your stomach. And place a pillow under yourself, so that your ass sticks out.”

You’re not sure if this is part of the punishment, or just ‘business as usual’. Things blend into each other. But at least, when he fucks you, he’s not as cruel as he is in that other room. So, for all intents and purposes, this is not punishment; this is a treat. Even though he’ll fuck on his own terms, as hard as he wants.

You obey him and, within seconds, you feel him take his place behind you. Two lubed up fingers massage the rim of your asshole. “You always make me so horny, you know? I love to see you happy, but God, your crying face just makes me want to fuck you so hard.” He slips in a finger and thrusts it in and out at a high pace. “I just can’t wait to fuck all those sweet moans out of you. It was so hard for me too, you know? To not thrust my cock inside you then and there.” Already, he adds a second finger. “You’re still tight, but I’ve waited so long, I can’t just…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

You want to speak, but you’re still unable to, your body completely broken and shaking all over. Noel continues his preparation of your ass. After a little more than a minute, he thinks he has prepared you enough. You’re not quite so sure, but you don’t struggle. If he thinks it’s enough, it must be enough. What Noel says goes.

“Ready for my cock, love?” He is holding your waist as you feel the head of his penis stimulating the rim of your anus. He presses inside; his impatience in the preparation makes it a little tight still, but he enters. There’s pain, but compared to the pain elsewhere in your body, it’s negligible. He sighs deeply, contentedly. “So damn good.”

He changes his position to lay on top of you, covering your body with his. With one hand, he pins your right hand to the mattress; the other wraps under your left armpit and grabs you at the throat roughly. Your breathing becomes more labored as he constricts the air flow.

“You like that, huh? Being all mine. You don’t get to breathe unless I allow it, got that?” He starts moving his cock, thrusting in and out slowly. His member is rather thick, and it always takes a while for your hole to get used to it.

When you don’t reply, he shortly squeezes your throat hard before loosening his grip, leaving you gasping for air. “I said, did you get that?”

“Y-y-yes, Noel.” Your voice comes out as a wheeze.

“Good,” he coos. “That’s how I know my sweetheart.” He lets go of your throat and pins your other hand to the mattress, too. “I think you’re loosened up enough by now.”

It’s true; his cock is going in and out more easily than it was before.

“Let me paint your insides white.” With those words, he starts fucking you in earnest. Hard and deep; with each thrust you scream it out. “That’s it, y/n!” he moans in your ear. “Let it out. Let me hear how good you feel.”

And, despite everything, he was right: you did feel good. He had abused you, even tortured you. But that was the punishment, which was over now. So, surely, now you could enjoy yourself… right? It was hard to think straight around him. He didn’t allow you the space in your mind.

“How does it feel, baby?” Not having gotten his answer in words, his tone became more demanding. He accompanied it with a particularly hard thrust. The pain surged through you, but there was pleasure, too.

“Feels so good!” you mewled. “Noel… Noel…” You moan his name over and over, and he, with his mouth so close to your ear, whispers yours. You can feel his breath and hear every tiny sound he makes.

“See? If you behave, I’ll fuck you nicely. Isn’t it pleasant like this?”

“Yes, Noel.” You’re not even sure anymore if you mean what you say, or what the causal chain of events is. Did you agree with him because it is pleasant, or is it pleasant because you agreed with him?

“That’s a good [boy/girl].” His breathing grows more labored as he keeps penetrating you deeply. “I’m going to cum soon,” he whispers in your ear. “I’m gonna cum inside, and fill you up really good. You did so good bearing the punishment. You deserve it, you deserve my thick cock shooting it all inside you.” His voice grows more frenetic as he gets closer to ejaculation. He moans and groans and you feel his cock throbbing inside of you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Fuuuuck.” With a final thrust, he shoots his load inside of you. He can’t help but twitch inside of you as he ejaculates. “God damn, you feel so good.”

You feel a warm feeling welling up inside you. It’s happiness. You feel happy you can please him.

You’ve truly become his bitch.

[sophrosynesworld]

Chili Chocolate Cookies

What goes around comes around.

You can hear your daughter’s sobs through the door, her muffled cries filling the silence of your once-quiet home. She had slammed the door behind her the moment she stepped inside, shutting herself away from the world.

“Honey?” Your voice is soft as your fingers tap gently on the door. “Are you hungry?” You knew she wasn’t. But you also knew your daughter well enough to understand that addressing her tears directly would only make her retreat further into herself.

“Go away!” Her voice cracks, full of anguish and frustration. Whatever had happened at school today had clearly taken a toll on her. You lean against the door, heart aching, but you don’t push further. You know she needs time to process her middle school emotions, and the last thing she needs is someone barging in before she’s ready.

Instead, you do what Katsuki does for you when you’re overwhelmed by the world. You move quietly into the kitchen, your footsteps light on the floor, not wanting to disturb her. Humming softly to yourself, you start pulling out ingredients from the cupboards—flour, cocoa powder, sugar. The familiar motions soothe you as you level the dry ingredients and measure the wet, mixing the chili chocolate cookie batter with practiced ease. The scent of the rich chocolate and the slight kick of chili fills the kitchen as you place the tray in the oven.

You know she won’t resist for long. The warmth of the cookies, just like the warmth of your love, will eventually draw her out. And when she does come out, you’ll be ready to listen—not with words, but with the simple act of being there for her.

While the cookies bake, you move to the school bag your daughter left by the doorway, intending to gather any homework she might have. As you pull out a folder, a crumpled note tumbles out onto the floor. You didn’t mean to pry—honestly—but your fingers automatically reach for the paper, curiosity tugging at you.

As you slowly unravel the note, your heart sinks. The words scrawled across the page hit you like a punch to the gut:

Your dad might be a hero, but you’re nothing more than a quirkless freak.

Your breath catches in your throat. How could someone be so cruel? Your mind races, trying to process the pain your daughter must be feeling. Before you can think of what to do next, the door to her room creaks open. Panic surges through you, and you hastily shove the note back into her bag, tossing it onto the floor beside you.

“Are those almost done?” her small voice asks.

You look up, meeting her gaze. Your beautiful daughter peeks out from behind the corner, her face blotchy from tears. Those striking eyes, so much like yours, peer at you with a mix of hope and hesitation. Her platinum hair, a gift from her father, falls messily around her face. If you asked her Uncle Eijiro, he’d say she has his teeth, but you’ve explained to him countless times that’s not how genetics work.

“They need a few more minutes,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady as you turn off the oven light. You pause, then gently add, “Do you want to talk to me while they finish? I’ve been dying to tell someone about my day.”

“Of course.” Your daughter sits next to the counter, pushing her hair away from her face and getting comfortable. So, you ramble on. You talk about buying groceries, stopping by Katsuki’s office, and having lunch with him, even the workout class you took before coming home. You keep talking, keeping your daughter engaged with your stories, trying to bring a little light into her day. When the cookies finally come out, she takes a bite, her eyes widening in delight.

“These are so good!” Your daughter pauses mid-bite, chewing slowly as if she’s savoring the taste. After a moment, she looks up at you, her eyes hesitant but determined. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything.”

She shifts in her seat, glancing down at the table before meeting your gaze again. “Do you think I could be like you… maybe even Dad?”

You do your best to hide your surprise, feeling your heart skip a beat. “You… want to be a hero?”

Before she can answer, the sound of the front door opening startles her. She freezes, like a deer caught in headlights, then quickly scrambles out of her chair. “Forget I said anything!” she blurts out, her voice high-pitched with panic as she retreats back into her bedroom.

You barely have time to process her words before Katsuki’s voice cuts through the silence. “Why does my house smell sad?”

“It doesn’t smell sad in here, Katsuki,” you reply, standing up to greet him. As you walk over, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a comforting embrace.

Katsuki’s strong arms encircle your waist, and he gives you a small kiss before pulling back slightly to look at you. “It smells like chili chocolate cookies, which means something’s up. That’s her go-to comfort cookie.”

You sigh, feeling the weight of the day settle on your shoulders as you let go of him. “Those kids at school are at it again.”

Bakugo’s expression darkens, his frown deepening. “Which ones?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, frustration tinging your voice. “But they’re calling her names again. She’s miserable there, Katsuki.”

His jaw tightens, and you can see the anger simmering just beneath the surface. He’s always been fiercely protective of both of you, and the thought of his daughter being hurt like this is enough to make his blood boil.

“I just wish I knew what to say to her,” you admit softly, your voice trembling with the weight of your worries. “She’s hurting so much, and I feel like I’m failing her.”

“You’re not failing her,” Katsuki says firmly, pulling back to look into your eyes. His gaze is intense, full of the fierce love that’s always driven him. “You’re doing everything you can. She knows you’re here for her.”

“I just… I don’t want her to feel like she has to hide this from us,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “She asked if she could be like us, Katsuki. She’s never said anything like that before.”

He takes a deep breath, his expression softening as he processes your words. “Maybe that’s a good thing,” he says slowly. “Maybe she’s starting to see that she doesn’t have to be like everyone else to be the best."

Katsuki takes a step away, his expression clouding with something heavier.

“What is it?”

He exhales deeply, rubbing a hand across his face. “Can I be honest about something?” he asks quietly, the weight of his words already pulling him down. You nod, encouraging him to continue.

“I said those same damn things to Deku when we were kids. I called him a quirkless freak. I made him feel like he was nothing.”

You’re taken aback by his confession. Katsuki rarely talks about those days, the guilt he carries buried deep beneath layers of bravado. “That was a long time ago,” you say gently. “You’re not that person anymore.”

“I know,” he replies, but his voice is strained. “But hearing her talk about what those kids are saying to her… It’s like I’m hearing my own words all over again, and it makes me sick.”

You squeeze his hand, offering silent support. He’s never shied away from his mistakes, but the guilt he feels over how he treated Izuku still lingers.

“You’ve changed, Katsuki,” you remind him. “You and Izuku… you’re friends now. You’ve made amends.”

He nods, but you can tell it’s still eating at him. “I’ve spent years trying to make up for what I did to Deku, but seeing her go through this… It’s like I’m being reminded of how much damage I did. How much I hurt him.”

You don’t reply, knowing how rare it is for your husband to be this open.

Katsuki is silent for a moment, lost in thought. “I never understood why Deku kept going, kept trying to be a hero, even when I told him he couldn’t. He didn’t have a quirk, but he had something else… something I didn’t see back then. That’s what she has too.”

You nod, seeing the realization dawn on him. “She has that same determination, that same heart.”

Katsuki looks at you, his expression resolute. “I’m gonna make sure she knows that. I won’t let her go through what Deku did. I’m not gonna let her think she’s anything less than amazing, quirk or no quirk.”

You smile, feeling a swell of pride for the man he’s become. “And you know what? You’re showing Izuku that too. Every day, you’re proving that you’re not the person who said those things. You’re someone he can count on, someone who’s learned from their mistakes.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, some of the tension easing from his shoulders. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right.”

[frantic-fiction]

May I request some Jealous!Fem!Reader x Astarion? Maybe one where someone from Astarion’s past makes an appearance and while Astarion sees this woman as just a friend, reader can see the woman blatantly flirting with her vampire spawn and she doesn’t like it one bit. ESPECIALLY if Astarion’s oblivious to the woman’s advances and innocently engages (because let’s face it, our boy loves being praised & complimented 24/7). Reader decides it’s her turn to stake her claim on our little sassy vampire and remind everyone who he belongs to ;)

Yes! Yes! Thank you for the request!

Jealous

Astarion x gn!reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist

It was nice being back in the city. Yes, there was still the ever-looming threat of the Absolute, but most of the party was back home, and for once, it felt like, for a moment, everyone could breathe. You had a fluffy bed to sleep on instead of a lumpy bedroll. And while Gale always made whatever perversions the party scavenged taste good, the warm, hearty tavern meals you've been treated to as of late were too good to beat.

But the best part of being back was taking any moment to drag Astarion out into the city to wherever he fancies so he can explore Baldur's Gate in the daylight without the darkness of Cazador. He wanted to visit the farmers market today, so you wandered the vendors' stalls, stopping to take moments and smell flowers and sample wares.

Astarion politely conversed with a tailor about the fabric quality used for a shirt he wanted. Frankly, they had been talking longer than your attention span could handle, so when your eyes wandered to a stall full of beaded jewelry, you wasted no time giving Astarion a quick peck on the cheek and telling him where you'd be.

The pieces were beautiful and skillfully crafted—brightly colored beads and gold inlays, gems of various minerals, all catching your eyes. The older halfling woman propped highly on the stool, greets you politely, and gives little details and facts about each one you set aside for closer inspection. Maybe you should get something for Shadowheart and Karlach? Probably not Lae—

"Astarion!"

A feminine voice has you snapping your head back to your partner. A frown instantly settles over your features when you see a tall, elven woman pull Astarion's hug. Her brown hair is intricately braided into a top knot decorated in sparkly chains. Her dress hugs her curves, framing her body perfectly.

Why are they still hugging?

"Oh Gods, it's been too long. You're looking amazing." Her nasal voice filters down the markets. "How are you, love?"

Astarion finally manages to break the hug, giving the woman an automatic flirtatious smile, the tailor long forgotten. "Eleanor, I've been well. I do hope the same can be said for you."

Dropping the beads with little care, you leave the stall, ignoring the halfling. You don't like this woman. You don't like how her hand still lingers on Astarion's forearm or how she leans ever so slightly closer as if daring him to kiss her.

"I've been fine, though I'm upset you haven't visited in quite a while. It's been rather dull without you." She runs her hand up his arm.

Astarion laughs, flicking his hand in the air and clearly enjoying the woman's words. "I could only imagine, my dear. Those brutes are fowl at their best. Who wouldn't miss me."

Your jaw clenches when her obnoxious laughter rings in the air. Pushing past a family of four throwing a half-ass apology, not paying mind, too pissed off. Who does this woman think she is putting her hands on Astarion as if he's hers?

"Astarion, you always knew how to make me laugh." Elenor ducks her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If I'm being honest, I was always jealous of the ones you took home. But now that we're here, maybe…"

Oh, hell no! You practically jump the rest of the way and run into Astarion's arm. He lets out a breathy oof, arms tightening around your waist to keep you from tumbling to the ground. Pretending you weren't aware of the woman, you capture Astarion into a chaste kiss before beaming up at him.

"I hope you found what you were looking for, my love." Your voice is sickly sweet as you trail your thumb across his cheekbone. Then you turn your head and feign innocence, looking at the elf. "Oh, I'm sorry, Star. Who is this?"

Astarion gives you a look but recovers quickly. Clearing his throat, he speaks, "Darling, this is Eleanor. She owns a tavern I frequented. One of the only decent companies I've had before we met."

Moving away from Astarion's side, you reach your hand out in greeting, giving her your name, "It's a pleasure to meet a friend of my Star,"

Eleanor looks a bit taken aback, staring blankly at the two of you, clearly not expecting this change in her plans. You're internally preening. She takes your hand in a limp shake before dropping it and stepping back. Eleanor quickly wipes her hand on her dress slyly and chuckles.

"That explains why I haven't seen you in a while."

You sneer at her, wanting nothing more than to punch her. Instead, you drop your hand onto Astarion's chest, nuzzling warmly into his side. "Yes, sorry about that. I've been a bit selfish. Sometimes it hard to get out of bed."

"Right…" Eleanor says. Astarion, I never took you as one to settle down, especially someone as… unique as them."

"What is that supposed to mean?" The venom drips from your words, and Astarion has to keep you in place.

Eleanor smirks. "Oh, I meant nothing bad." The mocking tone alone reinforces that she meant this to be as insulting as possible. "I'm just stating you're rougher around the edges."

Astarion's hold on your waist tightens as you move to step forward, hand reaching for the dagger discreetly hidden against your thigh. There is no possible way this woman values Astarion in any way more than as a body to conquer. That thought alone has you practically baring your teeth.

"What the fuck does that mean!"

Astarion steps in before you can do anything extreme, "Eleanor, it was lovely seeing you again. We'll have to come and visit sometime for a drink, but I'm afraid my love and I must make our leave."

"Oh yes, of course!" Elenor says, her voice a bit too filled with fake cheer. Her smile is strained, and her eyes stare daggers into your skull. "I hope I can see you at the tavern sometime soon."

"Yes, we'll come down for a visit sometime soon. " Astarion calls over his shoulder, practically dragging you down the cobblestone. You think about ripping your arm out of his hold and turning back, but you let him pull you along with only a death glare sent toward Eleanor.

As soon as the two of you are in a secluded place, Astarion drops your hand and turns on you. "Darling, what was that?"

Picking at your nails, you shrug your shoulders. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Astarion takes your hand and, with a finger, tilts your chin to force you to meet his eyes. He has a shit-eating grin, and his fangs are even more prominent in his smile. "You were jealous."

Swatting his hands away, you step back. "I was not!" You lie and storm down the alleyway. You didn't get far before Astarion caught your wrist and spun you into his chest.

"You were jealous." He repeats. "But you really shouldn't be."

"She was all over you."

"It was a hug, my dear, from probably the closest normal friendship I had before the tadpole."

"Friendship? She was practically begging you to fuck her." You huff, fiddling with the lapels of Astarion's shirt.

Astarion chuckles deeply and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Gods, you're cute when you're jealous."

"Don't make fun of me, Astarion."

Ignoring you, he continues. "For argument's sake, if she was begging me to fuck her, as you so eloquently put it, who cares? I certainly don't, not when I have this beautiful, strong, incredibly understanding partner who knows all the darkest parts of me and still stands by my side?"

"Well, I am pretty noble for putting up with you when you're hungry." You smile, looping your arms around his neck, all jealousy draining from you like water from a colander.

"How could another soul handle me in that horrid state." Astarion runs his nose against yours. "I love you and don't plan on stopping soon."

You beam and kiss him breathlessly before mumbling, "I love you too," against his lips. "I think we should head back to our room."

Astarion chuckles under his breath, running his hands down the curve of your spine. "Oh, what for my sweet?"

"Well," Crawling your fingers up his chest, you press your lips to his ear and whisper. "If you'll let me, I want to mark every inch of your neck." "Mark me as yours, darling?" Astarion hums.

"Mhmm, we could go further, but" you continue. "Tonight, I want you to show me this tavern Eleanor owns. I think we deserve a date night."

"You are jealous."

"If I agree, will you take me out?" You lean in for a kiss.

Astarion presses forward, brushing his lips against yours. "As long as I have a necklace of your pretty love bites."

"Then yes, my love, I am very much jealous."

I've been struggling with inspiration lately. Moving was super stressful and I had to leave a hostile work environment very quickly so life's been a bit messy. But I've got my kitty cat and don't have to deal with a shitty boss so hopefully things will go up from here.

I'm kinda iffy on how I feel on this one but that might just be my current mindset. I hope you all enjoy it regardless, and stay tune because I plan on have something spicier posted soonish...possibly Astarion discovering his breeding kink 🫣❤️

Taglist: @heartfully10@ayselluna@marina-and-the-memes@anixson@canonicalchaoticneutral @toadsbitch @meulinkitten-blog @ambr4armr @lotusandcrystals @venussakura @synapticjive @skittleabyss@asterordinary@lariatbunny @whispering-depths@butchboi-chihuahua-slumlord@darkest-part-of-the-forest@queenofcarrotflowers-s@sessils @d20bunny@cherifrog@ophelia-ophelian@bgthree@darlingxdragon@mothynyx @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf@babyqnn @mmendez0124@kokoyu-art@lilah-asteria

Want to be added to the taglist? DM me please!

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Dark Shades of Innocence Lost Part 4: Meet Me In the Library✨

Club owner! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to @joelmillerisapunk and @mountainsandmayhem for being my betas 🩷 I hope you guys enjoy this part!

Chapter Summary: Joel shows up at your job unexpectedly and asks you to help him find a book.

Rating: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 3.3k

Chapter Tags: Allusions to smut, flirting, pining, Joel asks you to help him find a book, sexual tension

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

  It’s Tuesday, and you still can’t stop thinking about the aftermath of Saturday night. The way Joel took you on the pool table, the way his filthy words rushed through your body and pulled heat to your core, the way he fucked you relentlessly until you were liquid beneath him. But what you really can’t stop thinking about is how soft he was with you after. The way he held you against his chest while his calloused fingers ran softly through your locks, the way he made you feel so… safe.

   He’s… incredible.

   You don’t really pay attention with the stack of books you’re carrying to the back until you run straight into Jane, your coworker who skates circles around you day after day.

   She huffs as you collide into her, and she grabs them out of your hands and gives you a displeased snarl. “Will you just watch where you’re going for once? Honestly, it’s like you’re in a fog lately,” she mutters as she rolls her eyes.

   “Sorry, Jane. Really, I didn’t see you there,” you apologize.

   “You don’t see a lot of things lately,” she mumbles out while holding the books close to her chest. “Just go help some customers, you’re getting on my last nerves.” 

   She whispers curses under her breath as she disappears through the double doors, and you can’t help but giggle as her glasses fall from her head. 

   You guess you should make some use of the rest of your shift. Not like you can pay attention. The only thing you want to think about right now is being underneath Joel again.

   You pick up a copy of an old history book about Greece that was left on the front counter and decide to take it back to where it belongs. As you start to walk past the first wooden bookshelf, you turn the corner and run straight into a broad chest that feels like a thick brick wall. When you look up and see who it is, you freeze. 

   Joel.

   “Joel! What are you doing here?” you gasp as the library book goes tumbling from your shaky hands. Joel quickly catches it with ease before it lands flat on the marble floor.

   “Thought I’d drop by. Was in the neighborhood,” he shrugs. He quickly flips through the white pages of the large book with interest, and you stand and gawk as his calloused thumb glides with ease over the worn pages. 

    “A book about Greece, huh?” he asks as if it’s got your name written all over it.

   “Was just taking it back to the section it belongs in.” You reach out and grab it nicely out of his large hands, but before you can slide your hand away, his calloused skin connects with yours and heat burns automatically through your body like he just set your skin on complete fire.

   You clear your throat and smooth a lock of hair nervously back in place before you give away how ecstatic and nervous you are to see him. 

   “You ever been?” he asks as he nods to the book that’s now in your clutch.

   “What?”

   “To Greece,” he chuckles.

   “Oh, right.” You shake your head out of a trance and pull yourself together. “No, it’s on my bucket list,” you sigh.

   “My, uhhh… my daughter’s actually over there right now studying abroad,” he smiles with pride shining in his chocolate eyes.

   Your eyes go wide as you take in the new information. “You have a daughter?” you ask slowly.

   “Mhm. Her name’s Sarah.”

   “Is she your only one?” you ask curiously, shifting your weight onto your left hip as you hug the history book closer to your chest.

   “Yeah, she’s my only one.” He smiles, and suddenly you’re smiling right back at him with warmth in your cheeks.

   He’s a dad? He’s probably such a good dad, too. How could he not be? Just look at him. He’s soft, sweet, and just so very perfect.

   “What is she studying?” you ask as you let some customers slip past you and Joel by the lit entryway.

   “Architecture,” he states with a small smile edging his beautiful eyes.

   “Architecture?” you ask with a raised brow. “Well then, that’s the perfect place to study,” you smile.

   “Figured the same.”

   “Do you have any pictures?” you ask as you take a step closer to him, letting the book drop in your grasp as you slide next to him.

   He nods as he traces thick fingers through his tousled curls, his eyes sparkling almost onyx as he pulls the iPhone out of the pocket of his dark jeans. His thumb flips through his pictures carefully, and you tense as you see his biceps flex as his fingers work the phone, practically shredding the green flannel that threads around his broad shoulders. You can barely breathe standing this close to him, and he hasn’t even done anything to you today.

   Fuck. You’ve got it so bad.

   He decides on one, stopping his thumb from flipping any further in the photo album, and then he holds it out to show you. You walk straight up to his side, just like a magnet being pulled by gravity, and when you brush against his green flannel you shake inside.

   You smile as you take in the picturesque image on the glow of the screen. Soft ocean waves lap in the back as the sun sets high on the coast. In the middle of the picture stands a young girl that definitely resembles Joel. Long, winding strands of hair fall over her shoulders, a grin as wide as a mile long, and bright eyes flash up to the camera. 

   Joel has a daughter.

   “Wow. It’s so beautiful there. And Sarah? She’s so pretty,” you beam as your eyes lift up to his crinkled, mesmerizing hazel flecks.

   “Yeah, she’s a beauty. And smart as hell. Don’t know where she gets it,” he chuckles as he flips through more photos.

   “I’m sure she gets it from you,” you giggle.

   “Nah. Don’t think so, darlin’,” he laughs.

   He flicks through a few more pictures, showing you the scenery of the glorious country, the architecture, the absolute beauty of it all. And you stand there and hold your breath, clinging to every picture, every word that rolls off his tongue, every flit of his caramel eyes. He’s got your full attention. 

   When he finishes and shoves the phone deep in the pocket of his jeans, he stands back and looks at you. Really takes a good look at you and smiles as he turns his body and brushes his calloused fingertips across your skin. The room is suddenly ten degrees hotter.

   “So, you gonna help me find a good book to read or what?” he smiles, brushing a strand of grey off his tanned forehead.

   You gulp as you watch him, nearly drooling at the sight of his tousled curls and crooked smile. Something about this man just makes you want to follow him anywhere he goes. “You want me to help you find a book?” you laugh as you cling the book about Greece to your chest.

   “Ain’t that what I said?” he asks with a raised brow.

   You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Okay then. Follow me,” you smile, feeling his large presence burn behind your back.

   You slip the book about Greece back into its proper spot in the history section and let your hand slide against the dark wood of the shelf, the sunshine flooding in through the large, cascading windows that surround the back wall.

   You turn around and place your fingers close to your smooth lips, arching an eyebrow as you look him up and down slowly, trying to conjure up the perfect book for him to read. 

   You take in his dark denim jeans, the leather boots that are always laced up perfectly, the soft flannel that hugs his large biceps, his messy grey curls that sometimes fall over his tanned skin, mindlessly gawking at the perfect man that he is. Tall, dark, handsome, just like you always read about in your favorite romance books.

   He smirks your way, catching you staring as he clears his throat. “You jus’ gonna stare or are you gonna give me some recommendations?” he asks playfully with the tick of his jaw.

   You shake your head out of the cloudy fog and nod your head. “Just trying to get a feel for you,” you mumble.

   “Think you’ve already got a pretty good feel of me, wouldn’t you say, angel?” He smirks your way, eyes darkening as you imagine yourself back under his strong body, taking him hard and fast against the pool table, ragged breaths uncontrolled as he takes you over the edge time and time again.

   Fuck. Now is not the time to get all flustered and heated. You’re working.

   “Stop teasing me,” you blush.

   “Didn’t know I was,” he winks. He fucking knew what he was doing.

   “Well, we’re never going to get a book picked out for you at this rate,” you laugh. 

   He shifts his weight and leans on one of the shelves that’s stacked high with literature and history books, looking over you slowly as he says, “Let’s change it up a bit. What’s your favorite book besides Pride and Prejudice?”

   “Mine? I thought we were trying to find something for you,” you say dismantled.

   He shrugs. “Asked you a question,” he states bluntly.

   “This isn’t about me,” you say as you shake your head.

   “No? I’m askin’ because I want to know what you would read. Give me a recommendation off that list, any book you’d read regularly, and I’ll pick that one.”

   “You want to read one of my books?” you ask with wide eyes.

   “Yeah,” he chuckles. “If it’s important to you then I’ll give it a shot. Even if it’s somethin’ I’d never even think to pick up. This’ll jus’… let me inside your mind a bit more.”

   You gawk at him, staring as you curl your fingers around the fabric of your dress, trying to piece together exactly what you just heard. He wants to see inside your mind, wants to read what you would? God, this man will be the death of you.

   “What’s the last book you read?” he asks casually as he follows you through the large library, the bookshelves turning into mazes as you take him further into the back. The area where fantasy and romance are. Your favorite.

   “Oh, you wouldn’t like…”

   “Try me,” he challenges, eyes darkening and narrowing with the hint of a playful smirk on his lips. 

   Oh. He really is serious.

   “Okay then, Miller. Follow me,” you grin as you lead him straight to the fantasy section where the books are spread wide and far, encapsulated by an arch that blocks out half the sunlight, where nobody else is currently standing.

   “Fantasy section, huh? I knew it,” he chuckles under his breath as he leans back against one of the sky high shelves stacked with some of your favorite fantasy books.

   “Yeah, what gave me away?” you ask, fluttering your long eyelashes as your fingertip skates across the various colored hardback covers.

   “Ain’t that what all the pretty girls are readin’ these days?” he smirks, his brown eyes glinting almost gold as he smiles at you from just a few feet away. 

   You shake your head as you search for the book you’re looking for. “Think charm is going to get you far, Joel?”

   “I’d like to think so, angel,” he mutters huskily. Your cheeks burn hot at the way he says that, like he wants to keep going with whatever this is. The thought makes you a bit dizzy, if you’re being honest with yourself.

   You thumb through the section, searching through stacks of colorful books, looking and looking until you find exactly what you want. You pull out the hardcover book and tap the cover, nodding your head as you hand it over to Joel. “Here it is. The last book I read.”

   He takes it from you slowly, opening the cover of the book to read the summary while he hums under his breath, like he’s assessing your choice very carefully. He closes it shortly after and flips it over. “Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros?” he asks with one eyebrow raised in question.

   “Mhm,” you hum. “That’s the one.”

   He presses his tongue into the middle of his cheek, flicking his brown doe eyes up to yours as he taps the edge of the book to his side. “Dragons, romance, war?” he asks as he takes a step closer, making you almost drop a book from the shelf as you study his expressive features.

   “Yeah, it’s amazing. In case you haven’t heard, you’re really missing out,” you giggle, twirling the end of a lock of hair around your index finger as nerves pull down your spine.

   “Guess I’ll jus’ have to read it and tell you what I think then,” he smiles as he tucks the book close to his side.

   “Really?” you ask with wide eyes. “You’re not going to say no?”

   “Like I said, let me inside that pretty mind of yours. I wanna read what you’ve read,” he murmurs as he takes another step forward, making your back go flush against the heavy bookshelf as a book slips from your hand and falls to the floor.

   Your breathing goes ragged as he takes two more steps, each one making your heartbeat frantic as he cages you in. He places the book down and then his strong arms brush against your shoulders as his hands land on each side of the bookshelf, his hot breath blowing down your neck as the room suddenly turns scorching hot.

   He leans his head down low and breathes warm air against the shell of your ear as he pushes back a lock of your hair, lingering his calloused fingers on your skin. “You know, I’ve never met a librarian quite as easy on the eyes before,” he whispers. “Especially one that’s so… adventurous as yourself.”

   You suck in a breath, and your cheeks burn crimson red at the compliment. You shake your head and laugh. “Think you might have something to do with that.”

   He chuckles and runs the tip of his thumb against your jawline, making you incredibly frazzled as his chest leans into yours. “Maybe so, little daredevil,” he smirks.

   Your mouth parts open as he brushes his thumb against your bottom lip, making tingles run through your bloodstream as your chest tightens. His deep brown eyes pierce into yours, and they’re so magnetic you feel like you could collide with him at any second. 

   His eyes gaze down to your glossy lips and that stare, that achingly painful, yearning stare shoots absolute want into your body. His plush lips look so soft, soft enough to caress and brush over your own lips.

   The room feels like a sauna now as his body meets yours, hands buzzing on your skin, your mind reeling at the thought of kissing him. Kissing is intimate, kissing leads to more, kissing is dangerous. But yet for the moment you don’t care. The only thing you want, need right now is his lips on yours. 

   Your fingers clutch around the fabric of his flannel, pulling him flush to your chest as your breathing rapidly spirals into a full on panic attack. You’re at work, you should be helping customers, should be anywhere but in the back fantasy section with Joel where the lighting is dim and where practically no one can see you. 

   He leans further into you, taking his hand through your hair, curling his thick fingers under your chin so you’re staring straight into those honey glazed eyes that make you want to melt. And he’s telling you with his body language, with his starry eyes, with that longing stare that he wants to kiss. And you want to. God, you want to.

   He leans in further, tipping your head back till all you see is him, that flash of grey in his curls, his honey eyes searing into you, that longing ache that pulls deep in your gut. You want him, you want him so fucking bad, so why can’t you get up the nerve to kiss him? Why does that stop you when all you can even think about is him?

   “Joel,” you whisper, locking your fingers around his flannel as he pushes you further into the bookshelf, nearly toppling books over as one hand presses hard into your hip.

   “Hm?” he hums as he leans his forehead down against yours, curling his fingers tighter into the cotton material of your dress, pressing his weight into you as you feel every brush of his sculpted body. 

   This is too much, you’re a fucking panting mess. God, you want him to touch you, to take you back to one of the large tables, lay you down and spread your legs wide so he can indulge you in all your wants and desires.

   You need his touch, need his lips like you need air to breathe, but then it’d get complicated. Hell, it’s already complicated. You’re treading into dark water, but you don’t mind the darkness. Not really. Not with him where you think it’s safe.

   He dips down lower, his lips barely an inch from yours as you groan with desire. He’s going to fucking kiss you, and you want him to. You really do, but something snaps hard in your throat, and suddenly you can’t even breathe normally. 

   You turn your head before he can connect with his lips, and you swear you hear a disappointed sign come from his mouth. Goddamn it. He moves a step back and runs his hand through his tousled curls, looking up at you with hopeful brown eyes. 

   “I ummm… I should get back to work. You’ll have to tell me how you like that book,” you reply, pinning one hand behind your back as you dig your long nails into your flesh to keep you from cursing yourself. 

   He chuckles and nods, tapping his finger on the hardback cover. “I’ll be sure to update you every few chapters.”

   “Looking forward to it,” you smile.

   There’s a long pause between the two of you as you sway your hips nervously and bite your bottom lip out of habit. Joel looks back up at you with a spark in his onyx eyes like he has something to ask you. “Hey, are you doin’ anything Thursday night?” he asks with longing eyes.

   Your eyes meet his with a surprising stare. “Thursday? I thought you played pool with the boys on Thursdays?”

   He shrugs his broad shoulders and smiles. “They won’t miss me for one night. Besides, thought I might take a pretty girl out to dinner instead.”

   Your eyes gloss over at the statement. Dinner. He wants to take you to dinner. Was this a… date?

   “Oh, you mean you want to take me out to eat?” you ask as you gulp nerves down.

   He chuckles. “Yeah, that I do. I know this really great diner called Sal’s. Ain’t ever too busy. Really great burgers. Old fashioned. It’s uhh one of my favorites,” he smiles.

   Your gaze softens, and you feel as if your legs are weak like jello. “Okay,” you smile, feeling your cheeks burn crimson.

   He smiles back, a dizzying crooked smile that makes you just want to sing. “Okay then. Around 7:00 okay? I can pick you up.”

   You nod your head and smile. “Sounds perfect.”

   “Great. Guess I’ll see you Thursday, pretty girl,” he smiles, brushing his knuckles over your cheek ever so softly. 

   “Guess you will,” you smile.

   You don’t know what it is, but something shifts inside your body. A longing, yearning feeling that feels a lot like need and infatuation. You’re falling for him and fast, and you don’t know if you want anyone to catch you but him.

[theconstantsidekick]

Lit Cigarettes (Part 1)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x BestFriend!Reader, Damon Salvatore x Stefan Salvatore x Sister!Reader (mentioned) Genre: Angsty Fluff

Summary: Y/n decides that Dean Winchester really needs to know how she feels about him.

(Set after the events of Supernatural season 4 and yes, Y/n is technically a Salvatore. I love the adopted sibling trope, can you tell?)

a/n: I have another part in mind if this does well.

Warnings: Smoking, mentions of smoking, romanticisation of smoking, a lot of that yes, sorry. Don't smoke kids.

Part 2 is here

He used to light her cigarettes when she was too busy talking. That’s what love is. According to her, that is the truest, most genuine form of love. The idea might sound quite contradictory, somehow. But it would make sense to smokers all around the world. 

The thought that somebody would just pluck the cigarette out of your hand, light it, take a little puff to keep the light aflame and just place it back between your index and middle finger. That’s somehow so painfully selfless that it can’t be classified as anything other than the most romantic act known to mankind. 

Now, the tragedy of it all was that that was the only showing of love she ever got from him. All she ever got was a lit cigarette handed off to her while she was too invested in spewing absolutely random bullshit about the sensors on automatic doors at some blackwater motel in an unnamed town. He’d do it quietly. He wasn’t quiet but there was always a quietness about him. Not quiet in the truest definition of the word. He was quiet in a different way, he talked. He was always charming, never not charming. He smiled and charmed everyone further still, but it felt like a very well rehearsed performance. His words, his charm, his smile seemed rehearsed, practiced relentlessly. A stark contrast to how they talked, when he talked to her and just her. Or well, so she thought until she found out that he could talk with a genuine smile to just about anyone unless there was a room full of people. Until the day she found that out, she felt quite special about it.

She felt important to him, enough for him to talk around her more, smoke around her more and light her cigarettes when she was too busy talking.

He never smoked around anyone else, hid the bad habit from his brother, but never her. It made her feel like there was a precarious unspoken bond between the two of them that could break at the mere mention of it. Could it?

She’s going to find out.

“Dean,” she calls out in no urgency, with a quiet calm. They are packing up their things, leaving the small motel room behind for another one in another town. Sam’s out at the reception, settling the bill. He’ll be back soon, she needs to wrap this up before he comes back. 

“Yeah?” Dean answers, never looking up from the duffle bag he’s aggressively shoving his clothes into.

“I love you.”

Dean’s motion halted at once. He doesn’t move, she thinks maybe he can’t move.

“Dean?”

The man in front of her gulps, audibly. “Yeah?”

“I love you.” It feels important to reiterate in this case. 

“I—” Words seem to be straining him. “I heard you the first time.”

“Good,” she tells him and then resumes packing her shit. But there’s a few more things to add, “I know we don’t talk about it, I know we aren’t supposed to. I know you’ve always known that I loved you and we still never talk about it, which means you don’t feel the same way, which again, I know. I am not trying to change your mind, I’m not trying to get into your pants. I’m certainly not asking you to love me back. I am not asking for anything actually, so you can quit looking so fucking terrified. I just needed to tell you because you up and died and it felt like my life stopped, like I couldn’t fucking breathe anymore. I felt hollow and broken and it felt wrong to be alive…” He looks at her then. Her voice is so thick with emotions, even though she is trying to keep them at bay, he must have felt compelled to look at her, she muses.

Shaking her head, she exhales audibly. “But you’re back now and I just needed to say it. I’ve loved you since I first saw you when I was 13. I don’t know how to not be in love with you, trust me, I’ve tried. So, I've learnt to make peace with it. I definitely don’t need you to say something, I just needed you to know that I love you, always have, most probably I always will. I need you to know that you are loved.”

There is silence then, no words, just the sound of her footsteps as she goes around the room picking up things she wants to shove into her bag.

“I…” Dean tries. But the words fade away just as quickly as the thoughts strike him. She looks at him for a second but the silence that proceeded makes her look away. She has just dropped a huge bomb, not that it was some revelatory information but it was something they had avoided talking about for literally ever, so it was fair that he needed some time to come up with a response. She is more than happy to give it to him.

But then Sam walks back into the room. “I’m pretty sure the dude at the reception thinks we’re a freaking thruple.” He walks to the washroom to collect his toiletry pouch and begins packing as well. “I mean, I’m not sure I can blame him? But I want to?” He shrugs. “Dean and I really don’t look all that alike, maybe that’s it? But this is like, the seventh motel in a row that’s given me really weird looks, you know? I don’t know whether to be flattered or plain disgusted—” His words drop off, as he finally notices the atmosphere in the room.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks looking from his brother to his best friend.

“Yes,” Dean replies at the same time as she says, “No.”

“NO?!” Dean balks at her.

“Can you guys drop me off at the bus stop? I gotta head to Mystic Falls,” she says, zipping up her bag and exiting the room.

Dean follows her instantly. “Mystic Falls? I thought you weren’t talking to your brothers?” Running up to catch up with her, he races even further ahead to open the trunk of his car for her. 

“Yeah, but that was last week,” she tells him as if that was enough explanation. She places her bag in the trunk.

“They kicked you out!” Dean seems on edge. She can’t completely understand why. 

She looks at him. “It’s Stef’s birthday.”

“He’s had a couple hundred of those,” Dean argues.

She smiles, “I hope he has a couple hundred more, and I’ll try to attend them all.”

“Damon forgot yours!” 

She shrugs. “I’ll pretend to forget his. But this is Stefan. And besides, Caroline invited me. You want me to bail and piss her off?”

He slams the trunk shut. “Fine!” He acquiesces, albeit very aggressively. “But I’m dropping you to the Boarding House, not a fucking bus stop.”

Meanwhile, Sam comes out, carrying his own luggage as well as Dean's—who had apparently completely forgotten about it. He opens the trunk again, eyeing Dean and her very suspiciously.

She moves to open the back door of the Impala. “You’re going to Ohio, it’s like a three hour detour.”

“It’s two hours with me behind the wheel. Get in,” he commands, leaving no room for any argument. 

“I was doing that anyway,” she says almost to herself, getting in the back. 

Dean stops her. “Get in the front. Sam’ll sit in the back.”

“I will?” Sam questions, lost.

Dean doesn’t care. He just gets in the driver seat, not waiting on either of the two. A look passes between Sam and her. He raises a brow in question, she just smiles and shrugs again in response and gets in.

Later, when Sam’s already asleep in the backseat, Dean clears his throat.

“So.”

She doesn’t turn around to look at him, she isn’t sure she was supposed to, and it’s drizzling, she doesn’t want to turn away from the window, not yet. “So.”

She can feel him shift uncomfortably next to her. “You gonna say anything?” He asks.

She thinks for a second. “I don’t think I have anything left to say, really. I said everything I had to say.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Dean yells out.

She has to look at him then, with ire in her eyes. “SHhhh!! He’s sleeping!” She whisper-yells at him, pointing to Sam in the back seat. 

Trying to compose himself once again, Dean whisper-yells back at her, “What do you mean you’ve said everything you had to?”

“I said it, in the motel,” She explains.

“And that was it? The end of the conversation?” Dean questions, seeming very agitated.

“I mean, yeah! What else am I supposed to do?” She throws back, his agitation is quite contagious. It always has been. 

“You really think that was a reasonable end to that conversation?!” Dean bites.

She’s getting annoyed now. “What do you want? You want me to elaborate? Write a thesis paper on it? Or—or would you like to read my diary where I scribbled ‘Y/n Winchester’ a million times? What exactly is the resolution you’re looking for here?”

“You wrote ‘Y/n Winchester’ in your diary a million times…?” He asks, almost as if he cannot comprehend the idea of it. 

From anyone else she would’ve taken that as an insult. Had it been anyone else they might have actually been making fun of her. But it’s not anyone else. It’s Dean. So she’s compelled to look at him.

“Yeah, Dean. And it was just as embarrassing then as it is right now. But I was the nerdy teenager and you were the hot jock who the cheerleaders at Mystic Falls High were dying to date.” Just the thought of those days makes her morose. “I don’t like to think about those days.”

Then there is silence again.

Until Dean clears his throat, slowly he says, “But I never drove any of them home.” And damn it all to hell, it makes her smile. And damn it all to hell, her smile apparently makes him more confident in his approach. “I didn’t wait for them outside their place, blaring AC/DC at the crack of dawn, all to get milkshakes before school… It was you. I wanted to hang out with you.”

But that’s somehow the wrong thing to say, “Never at school.”

“What?” Dean asks, thrown off.

“You didn’t talk to me at school.” Admitting it, it breaks something in her all over again. It’s like she’s in highschool again. She hates it.

“That’s not true! We had lunch together everyday!” He defends.

“Nope,” she tells him. “You had lunch with the cheer squad while I sat on the table next to you silently eating really bad beans.”

“But I was there,” He tries.

“You were,” she concedes. “You were there but you weren’t there.”

Silence falls once again.

“I don’t blame you,” she is the one that breaks it. “For high school.”

“Why not?” Dean asks, sounding genuinely more hurt at the fact that she doesn’t blame him than the fact that she accused him of ignoring her.

“It’s a weird time for everyone, and I think Mystic Falls High was the first time you got to actually enjoy it. You stayed there long enough to stop being the new kid and I think it was also the first time you felt like you fit in. I didn’t, and that was never your fault… or your problem for that matter,” she explains, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“That’s not fair,” Dean opposes.

“What?”

“Your problems are my problems.”

And the finality of his statement gives her a weird sort of confidence to say, “Sheesh. Wonder why I ended up falling in love with you.” 

The car skids a little.

She can’t help it, she laughs.

“YOU CAN’T JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!” Dean argues.

She’s still laughing, “I’m sorry. But… Come on! It was kinda funny.” 

“I did not find that funny! Not even a little bit! What’s so funny about being—” He cuts himself off.

She laughs a little harder. “That’s what’s funny! You can’t even say it! You wanna know what’s so funny about being in love with you? I can’t stop it. It’s…” She sits up to position her back towards the window and moves herself to face Dean better. “It’s like breathing. I have tried, time and time again, to stop, and for a while I can. I can try to hold my breath when I’m being mindful of it. I can remember not to breathe when I’m focused on not breathing but the moment my brain gets engaged anywhere else, I’m screwed. The moment I look away, the moment I burn my toast, or start reading a book or watch a film, the moment I’m in a rush to meet Bonnie, the moment my mind becomes occupied with anything other than the conscious thought reminding me not to breathe—BAM! I’m falling in love with you again. It’s so fucking easy, it’s so fucking comfortable. Loving you is the my most cherished accomplishment because I’ve done it so fucking well for so freaking long.” She smiles. “I feel like I deserve a prize.”

Dean stays silent.

Her smile fades.

She shakes her head, she knew what he felt. She’s always known how he feels. A long silence shouldn’t be the thing that aches her heart. Not after having been in love with this man for this long.

“Did you—” He cuts himself short. She turns to him again, eager for him to continue. And her silent pleas are heard loudly. Continue he does, “Did you decide to tell me… about this today cause we met 15 years ago today?”

“No,” she brushes him off. “I just needed to get this off my—” Suddenly his words strike her like a thunderbolt. “What do you mean 15 years ago today?”

He shrugs, eyes on the road. “A day before Stefan’s birthday, that’s when we met for the first time.”

“You… You remember the day we met?” She asks, dumbfounded.

Dean doesn’t answer, instead the car comes to a stop. He’s pulled into the parking lot of a 7Eleven. “I’ll be right back.”

Only when she watches Dean get out of the car and walk into the store does she realise that it’s the 7Eleven in Mystic Falls. They are only a few minutes away from the Salvatore Boarding house, barely 12 minutes away from her brothers’ place. 

She can’t believe she feels this way but a part of her feels like she’s running out of time. But running out of time for what? It’s Dean! He’ll be there to pick her up two days later. He’ll be there to light her cigarettes in a crowd—and not mean absolutely anything by it—in two days time. It’s not that long. They’ve dropped her off to live with her brothers’ for weeks even. Two days is nothing. It’s barely a visit. Then why in God’s name does she feel like there’s a clock right above her head counting down. And counting down to what??

“Here you go,” Dean says, as he gets in and throws something in her lap. 

She catches out of reflex. “Cigarettes?” It’s two packs of menthols, her current favorite.

“What about ‘em? You like these right?” He pulls out of the parking lot. “You quit Marlboro Reds a month ago, and switched to these so I thought they’d be a safer bet. Was I wrong?” 

It’s natural though. The most natural thing in the world. Dean buys her cigarettes. He always buys her cigarettes.

The thing about smoking that most people don’t understand is that it opens a whole new world. It’s bad obviously and no one should do it. But when you do it, when you smoke, there are a few things, a few rules that might not mean anything to a non-smoker but mean everything to a smoker. 

Take for instance, ‘Puff-Puff-Pass’. 

For any random person, the intricacies of ‘Puff-Puff-Pass’ exists to the extent of its name. But only a smoker knows that in an intimate setting, between two friends, the rule doesn’t apply. It’s rude not to follow the rule in a social gathering amongst semi-strangers, but among the two of them, it never applied.

Similarly, buying someone cigarettes is the purest gesture of care. 

Having a pack ready for consumption whenever she came back from a visit to the Salvatore Boarding House? To her that always felt like the loudest way that Dean could tell her that he cared for her. 

And he did these things often. Even when he quit smoking, he’d light her cigarettes for her. For as long as Dean has known she smokes, she has never lit a cigarette for herself. These gestures of… call it love, call it self-destruction, they have never not been there. So him buying her cigarettes is the most natural thing in the world but it throws her off still.

“Y/n?”

“What?” She suddenly remembers there was a question there, in his words before. “Oh yeah. Menthols… I smoke menthols now, yes. Good guess.”

He noticed me change my cigarettes? She asks herself, feeling something very close to giddy. Before she has to scream at herself inside, cause Dean has always done this and it has never meant anything. It’s just his small way of adhering to his duty of care.

“Thanks,” she tells him belatedly. She doesn’t fail to notice how the words make his nose scrunch up—the way it usually does when he dislikes something.

“You said you’ve tried not loving me,” Dean states and that’s all it is—a statement, an observation.

But she feels compelled to explain herself, “It’s not easy,” she tells him. “You’re… You’re you. You’re charming and hot and…” she’s spilled most of her guts, what harm can a little bit of spilling her heart do now? “You’re beautiful. You’ve got a different girl to take home every other night. It kills me inside, I won’t lie. It’s torture seeing you laughing with someone else. It really is. But it’s not your fault. And, I know you don’t feel the same way, and for a long time I didn’t mind this one sided affair cause, it was mine, you know? This love I had for you, it was all mine. I didn’t care if you loved me back… But then you…”

“Died,” he finishes the sentence for her.

She nods lamely. “It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I don’t remember what I did when you weren’t around. I don’t remember how I survived because to me breathing was being in love with you. It’ll always be that. I just knew if I ever saw you again, I needed you to know how I felt. I’d been too selfish with my love for you. I… I don’t know. It sounds stupid now. I just needed you to know and I felt like I should tell you today so I did.”

And then the car stops again. 

She looks up and she’s standing in front of the boarding house. 

Clock’s run out.

Dean tries to say something but she doesn’t know if she has the courage to hear a placated, softly-worded rejection so she just gets out of the car. 

He follows suit.

He rushes to open the trunk and pulls out her luggage.

She takes it for him, and then begins walking to the door.

“Y/n!”

It feels like a gust of wind. 

The way he calls for her feels like the gust of wind that blows right before the lighting strikes.

She turns without hesitance. 

Their eyes lock.

He’s standing next to the driver side, the door to the impala is still open. The only thing lighting his face is a street light a couple paces behind him. Bathed in yellow, he looks like a wild field of sunflowers, with his messy blond hair and painfully green eyes. He’s absolutely breathtaking.

For all her talk of her love for Dean Winchester being like breathing, in this moment, at the sight of this man looking absolutely divine, she doesn’t think she remembers how to breathe at all.

So with bated breath, she waits for him to speak.

“Y/n…” He says again, before something changes and his eyes stop shining, his posture hardens, his hand grips the Impala’s door a little harder and his face loses color. Then he says, “We’ll pick you up Tuesday.” With that he gets back in the car and drives off. 

It’s only when they’ve crossed the Mystic Falls border does the silence in the Impala break.

“You’re an idiot,” Sam tells him. 

Find Part 2 here.